Solid Ground

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

I've felt quite disoriented lately. It's my fault for a) slipping on my schedule and allowing myself to be lazy and b) I've been so busy lately, my room is a mess. Nothing terrible, but enough little things that combine to seem like a very big thing.

I had a conversation with a friend last week about another friend who has a definite instant gratification problem. The problem of course comes when they have to wait for anything. Heaven forbid! The situation involved an extreme example, but it highlighted how unattractive the trait it. I think there is a difference between going after what you want fervently and pouting when things don't work out the way you wanted as soon as you wanted. The later is what is being displayed in our friend. It conjures snippets of news media and journals discussing how technology, and instant access to everything, has affected the younger generations. [I would be a part of that generation. Except I'm not into keeping up with the latest trends. No smartphones here! but I digress...]

This concept has really been rattling my brain this week. I even watched an episode of The Waltons, because the concept of life before television is the opposite of instant gratification in my mind. When families would listen to a radio for the latest entertainment. Not to mention it was set in the era of the Great Depression so they were lacking lots of things. Throughout the series we would see various children doing whatever they could to make money when they wanted something, a new softball glove, a new dress, a bus ticket, etc etc. Of course that really got my wheels turning. So...my goal for April is to not shop at all, if possible. This leaves me two options: a) write down what I think I "need" and why. if I still feel that way about the item in May, I will work it into my budget. b) think about what I already have on hand that could be used as a reasonable substitute for the time being. [because most of my impulse purchases are a) food or b) stuff I probably already have at home] So we'll see how it goes. You will too, because I hope to blog about it!

I have an acquaintance who is into social/liberal causes. I must admit this plot does seem reminiscent of things I've seen her talk about. The "Ditch The Disposables" Challenge of 2008 and "30 Days of Nothing" Challenge. [Google either if you are curious to know more.] But I'm not trying to change the world, rather I'd like to reevaluate how I see it. So much of our society is material based. Work dress codes and hygiene requirements. Just because you have the latest fashions and impeccable hygiene doesn't mean someone is the best person ever. And being poor, or homeless, doesn't mean that personal is any less worthy. A quote has been on my heart in the recent weeks. I'm not sure where I read it. It's simply saved as a word document on my computer. It is simple, to the point, and true.

"You will never look into the eyes of someone Christ didn't die for" -Mark Moore

I'm not sure where/how I came across it. I have no idea who Mark Moore is. It's just so true and innately compelling. Which leads me to my next point. A hiatus from shopping isn't a bad start, but I want to get back to reality in general. Away from materialism, and away from the technological community (aka all things "social media") that is going on these days. A few weeks ago I was dog sitting for a slightly older couple in their 50s with no children. Just their beloved golden retriever. They have radios and a pretty sweet television, and one computer. With dial-up internet. They actually call people. From their land line.The write letters and go out to catch up with loved ones. It was an amazingly relaxing weekend and I can't help but envy them. They don't suffer from the media overload, and are so laid back as a result. Last week I watched "He's Just Not That Into You." At one point a character named Mary, played by Drew Barrymore, stated it perfectly: "I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting." Dating aside, I think it's definitely valid to say that becoming more "connected" via technology is actually isolating in the real world.

So there you have it. 1) no shopping. make a list, or make do. 2) less social media. more real relationships. April goals in a nutshell. Side projects: working out and running (as always), and working on my green thumb. I went shopping today. (gah, I know - who goes shopping before they give up shopping?! lame...) I picked up a few things at the mall, and then got down to business. I planted seeds a few weeks ago. Let me ask you this: have you ever planted seeds while owning three cats? because, let me tell you, it's an experience. One cat digs up the dirt, one cat eats the plants before they're even mature. [I guess Luke 8 could be read alternately using cats instead of birds, who knew...) So before my no shopping month begins, I thought I should pick up a) a seed starter. I went with the Jiffy professional greenhouse because it's not expensive, but still comes with the plastic cover to hopefully keep the cats out... and b) new seed (of course!) And because the local chain stores don't do so great at keeping plants, I rescued three plants: a red tulip, and two things that I've seen before but don't know by name, because they looked like they were drying to death.

Also, remember my fretting yesterday? Yet again, no one seemed to notice my mistake. I worry far too much about things that are temporal. I have to work on that.

stress

 

It's been one of those days weeks.

Today I feel like the Princess & the Pea. I'm the princess, and one minor thing that I could have handled differently at work is the pea. Never mind the countless things I handled appropriately. It's just one of those days.

 

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." -Psalm 55:22
I don't know about this, per say. I may try to live righteous. But I still make mistakes. Let opportunities slip by. Does trying to be righteous weigh in my favor enough that I am counted as righteous? Of course the problem is that God is merciful; humans are not so kind.

Of course, the ultimate fix:
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7
[just maybe with a side of hot cocoa. maybe]

what is love [baby don't hurt me]

“Love is absolute loyalty. People fade, looks fade, but loyalty never fades. You can depend so much on certain people, you can set your watch by them. And that’s love, even if it doesn’t seem very exciting.” -Sylvester Stallone [He seems like an odd source for this quote, but the internet supposedly says its true.]



So there was no Bachelor Monday night. Boo. I watched a chick flick instead. And I called it Movie Monday!

First Up: He's Just Not That Into You
First off, I think Greg Behrendt is kind of a ... nut. With a complex. Case in point: He is a standup comedian, who was also a writer for Sex And The City. SATC taught us to wait for "big love" and all that crazy jazz. Then Greg writes this book and proceeds to tell us: if a guy doesn't call you, doesn't ask you out, doesn't try to sleep with you, etc etc etc, it's because he isn't interested in you. Drop him like a hot potato and move on! This is where the movie comes in. The movie is annoying because of the intertwined mix of characters and shifting plot lines. And because if we followed Greg's advice, I'm fairly confident that no one would get married. I can see where Greg is coming from. A guy shouldn't break our spirit. Or make us pathetic creatures. There are plenty of guys out there. We shouldn't forget our morals because of a guy. We should still have our own life. But, just because a guy doesn't call me everyday, that doesn't mean I should vote him off the island. And, as a Christian, the whole "he's just not that into you if he's not having sex with you" is a bit problematic. [no, I'm not joking. that's chapter 4!] So if you're still with me, Greg wants us to stop making excuses. He doesn't want us date guys who don't treat us well. And he gives pretty high expectations to be met. Apparently there is no compromise in life. [Unless of course, you consider the compromise there morals just to get a guy, because if he's into me he's having sex with me...according to Greg.]

Overall: If you're looking for a movie that will allow for mindless relaxation, this will fit the bill. Certain parts might even make you think about things. I'll give it a C (not great, but not awful either)

Happy Sunday

My week in review: The end of another Bachelor season. [And the new availability of Monday nights.] Locking my keys and purse in my car Wednesday morning. Learning how to break into my car Wednesday morning. Being told I make a good model [staff photo shoot, or fashion show according to Cory] and being praised for my parade-driver skills. After the St Patricks Day parade, we went hiking. Somebody got a tick. But not me. That may or may not be a result of meticulously covering myself in SPF 50 prior to our adventure. [I am Irish, afterall!] It's sticky and thoroughly coats you [but obviously not too sticky because I still choose to use it.] So I'm pretty sure a) this layer of stuff would make me taste bad b) makes me unappealing to ticks in general. Either way, no ticks for me.

And now that I've wasted an hour of my life on pinterest, I must go get ready for Church. Today is the camp auction and it could be... interesting...

and just because the weather is so nice

Springtime, is that you?

I don't know about you, but today sure felt like spring in Pennsylvania.

I have to admit my trail attendance has been impressive this month. It was so nice out (combined with me being stressed out) that I went to the track today. The trail is for relaxed, unwinding time. The track is for hard work and pain. In the best, most enjoyable way. I think, as true spring/summer approaches, its time to make the track the majority and the trail the minority for daily work outs. After all, "no pain, no gain". Or no pain, no PRs. You know. Whatever.

Also, I have a confession. Recently, in spite of, or perhaps because of, this I have been allowing myself to splurge on pop. Mind you this splurge is one can (12oz) or bottle (20oz) per day. First off, it adds up. I'm not crazy about the extra sugar. In my perspective, I'd prefer my unneeded sugar to come in the form of a moist chocolate brownie. I want to thoroughly enjoy every calorie. Is that so wrong? Secondly, I read this a few weeks ago. I know, I know. There are many variables to consider: where the funding came from, was there bias, correlation does not equal causation. I get it. But, it is still something to think about. Luckily if you read my blog, you know pop isn't my true love.

I'm really more into tea. You might say I am obsessed with tea. I always drink tea hot. I normally drink it with a splash of 2% milk. I do not, and have not for months, add sugar. So its flavorful without adding extra sugar. I have an entire shoe organizer filled with different kinds of tea. 11 large tins, plus small tins and individual tea bags, and one container of cocoa. Since I've been doing double work outs, I wake up early to go running before work. After work I do some stretches and strength training. I drink black tea in the morning, for that little rush of caffeine, while I drink green tea at night while I'm relaxing before bed. I should mention that I work at a business that sells Republic of Tea, so I get a discount. Which makes my collection slightly less terrifying.

What's currently in my cup:
-(Every) Morning: Red Rose Original tea. I've grown up drinking it, so I might be biased but it is the perfect morning cup! I drink this almost every day without fail, even if it is 93 degrees outside! I love the flavor and depth of the tea. It's just so good!

-Evening: I mentioned that I drink green tea before bed because it has less caffeine. Tonight I am drinking The Republic of Tea's Honey Ginseng Green tea. If you're a sugar addict, you might be interested to know that this is the first tea I could drink (and enjoy!) without adding sugar. The ginseng makes it somewhat flowery, but not to the point of being unpalatable. The honey keeps it light. It's a great way to unwind at the end of a long day.

Or you could give your shins a massage, which is what I'm about to do. That feeling after the first hard run in the spring? (Runners you know what I'm talking about) Yeah, it was that kind of day... Here's some Jack Johnson, just because.

"this is our superbowl"

every year I watch the Bachelor(ette).
every year I whine and moan about how much ABC has manipulated the concept for ratings at the cost of (what small possibility remained for) a happy, true love ending for the show.

Why, oh why, do I subject myself to this torture you ask?
I love football. But I don't love football like my brother loves football. I'm not a guy. I think I'm missing the supreme football part of my genetics. (That sort of impassioned sports extremism is definitely part of the Y chromosome, am I right ladies?) I love sports, and I don't want to downplay that. But...

The Bachelor(ette) is my sport. It's the equivalent of Monday Night Football for the ladies.
You're forced to watch the awkward early episodes, aka preseason games. You don't always get to see the good players right away. But once you survive preseason, you are then compelled to slog through the season. The drama, the battle wounds, the casualties. Finally, you get to the final four. And the final four mean hometown dates. Or, as my coworker, who also is a lover of all things Bachelor, and I like to call them: the playoffs! (Our fascination is no joke. Just ask the poor male pharmacist who has to work with us!) This is when things really get exciting. From there the season really gets going, and finally you have the Final Rose: our superbowl!!! (Honestly, it's amazing poor Cory still talks to us!)

Well it's over for another season. 3 hours of all things ABC, Bachelor, and Chris Harrison. I get the impression that Chris Harrison would have been quite the party man in college, while still being a nice guy. (Shut up, don't tell me he's just another rude frat boy who has finally grown up.) Anyway, I like Chris Harrison. He has some undefinable endearing quality. And he always roots for the couple at the end. (Root for the home team, all that jazz.) He's perpetually happy and I love that.

Anyhoo, Ben chose the mean girl. Boo. Lindzi got the boot. There is always one girl who has a really hard time opening up to the Bachelor. This is understandable when you remember a) the season is filmed in a 6 week period and b) those moments will be broadcast on national television. I think people always fall in love with the girl who has a hard time opening up because a) we all empathize with her and b) believe that emotion is generally more sincere than a lot of the nonsense that is documented for these shows. I know I can definitely empathize with Lindzi.

On the other hand, for the first time in a long time. (Heck, maybe the first time ever!) I could care less if this Bachelor couple lasts. At least I won't be disappointed when they break up, like all (but three) franchise couples who came before them.

 yep... even they broke up.

I would have accepted the fantasy suite with the sole goal

 of waiting until he fell asleep to cut off his hair!

(even Cory thought this was a good idea- the only thing he 

adds to Bach chat is commenting on Ben's bad hair)

[photos from abc.go.com]

Well, that was our superbowl. It's over. And quite frankly I'm ready for the off-season!

Maybe I'll even think of a more worthwhile way to spend my Monday nights...

Tears of Rage I Cannot Fight

Nothing's true and nothing's right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can't change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I'll believe

crushed

When we're little, our parents teach us how to take care of ourselves.
To pick up our toys, and to mind our matters.
They teach us that honesty is the best policy.

I think honesty sucks.
It's a cruel weapon that can dash our hopes,
and kill our dreams in one fell swoop.

Before you know it, the wind is knocked out of you
and your perception of everything seems out of focus. Nothing looks right.
Everything seems to be crushed, bruised, and ruined.

What happened to the wisdom of Bambi?
When Thumper's parents taught us all: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all"
Or at least, if you say something that has caustic implications,
at least take the time to thoroughly explain yourself.

Running Buddy

Sometimes I wish I had a buddy for these mornings on the trail.

Somebody to help me out the door on days that I'm just not feeling it.

Maybe, one day.

Just Do It

I don't really want to run today. I don't want to go outside.
It's sub 30 and snowy. seriously...?


 Luckily, once again, pinterest has my best interests at heart:

 

  

 

 okay, fine. you win.

What Do I Do

I did not go to the trail today. I did not work out today.

I did go to Church today. It was frustrating in the most unsettling way.
I looked up every verse that references forgiveness (or at least according to the index in my Bible.) I wrote them all down and I intend to look them up. One by one.

I laughed with my family.
I took a lovely afternoon nap.

I made food for the next 6 days: broccoli, cucumber and celery salad, mashed cauliflower, and tuna noodle casserole. And muffins. Cranberry oatmeal. Yum.

And I glanced at the website for Keltie Colleen. And then I pinned a few a ton of her inspirations for the week. Here are a few of my favorites:

 Somedays I feel like this...

 

 ...but things really are not that bad

 

a hard lesson to learn

sometimes, inspiration is everything 

 

inspire yourself, inspire others

 

 everything will fall together, someday... 

 until then...

 

and

 and always, always remember

[come on, I went to his house while I was in Florida.

so of course I love this one!!!

I guess I have a thing for guys named Thomas,

but Jefferson will always be first in my heart]

Material Moment: Shopping is Serious Business

True to form, and not wanting to break my current streak, I hit the trail today. It was sunny out, windy (although too windy at times), the skies were clear and yet it was still low traffic. The perfect day for a run. And it was the most frustrating 3 miles.

After this mornings online browsing, all I could think about was shopping!!! I live in a small town. Technically, there is a township (where I live) and a borough. Our community is small, so our mall is small. I'm not a huge shopper. I'm typically in and out, but after "window shopping" online I was on a mission. There was one top in question that I have been looking at drooling over for weeks. In the process, I found 4 other tops that I liked. The only thing is the cost: one top would be a splurge for me, let alone 5. In my last post I mentioned that, during the 'great (closet) purge' of 2011 I let go of a few pieces I loved. In this case, there were two pieces, one stained and one worn until it developed holes, that I adored but let go because of their condition. Except a year later, I have yet to replace these adored items. So, the dangling carrot of these online pieces in my mind, I printed out my shopping cart, wrote up a shopping list, and went on my merry way. Normally I don't really like shopping. I don't doddle. I'm in and out in a hurry. Today was serious business. I went into 5 stores. The first wasn't clothes related, but I figured that as long as I was going to endure shopping, I'd do it thoroughly and tackle everything on my shopping list. That store was gardening related and a glowing success. The rest of the stores, I stuck to items on my list (mostly.) Having pictures of the items I found online helped and I could get similar items. I got 8 items for about half the price of what I would have paid online. And, happily, after a year of searching I FINALLY replaced my lazy day tank top. I will keep this one forever and ever, until it has more holes than swiss cheese. (Sometimes you don't know what an amazing thing you have until it's gone. What more can I say?) That one sweater I'm drooling over? Well... it was marked 50% off before dinner, but it's only 30% now. And so I wait.

It has been a productive day. Some of the holes in my wardrobe have been filled. I ran, I shopped, I worked out. I'm even doing laundry. Thank goodness I get to go to sleep soon!

My Week In Review

AKA Stuff that I've wanted to blog about but haven't had the energy, time, or focus to do so.

Monday I accidentally left work early. I still cannot believe I did this! However, I just added the time (the whole 20 minutes) on during the rest of my week. My manager was not even perceptive enough to realize my goof.

Tuesday was my day off. I spent it as a viewing/funeral.  Then I hit the trail. This winter has not been bad. I'm not convinced we've seen the last of winter weather, but for now I will enjoy the fact that I can get outside with little to no discomfort. I did run in a massive downpour on Wednesday, but rainy day runs are my secret love. It's like being a little kid jumping in puddles - but better! So I have a short cardio/strength training workout that I do essentially every day. I've done it every day the past three weeks minus two: I took one day off when I was sick and yesterday off just because. Starting Tuesday I have gone to the trail everyday. (Yes, I know that's only four days. You have to start somewhere!)

So assuming I'm not sick, I hit the trail before work and hang out with my medicine ball (aka my new best friend) after work. And I still plain my meals around fruits and veggies, and THEN I decide what else I want to eat. So Tuesday I was off. Wednesday I ran in the downpour before going into work. At work my coworker, once again, complains about her weight, not feeling comfortable in her body. Then she proceeds to open a box of girl scout cookies. Yesterday, there were both Dunkin Donuts and Bob's Pizza (local pizza shop) brought into work. The donuts were brought in by the same coworker who complains about her weight. REALLY??? I think it frustrates her that I didn't want anything.

Don't get me wrong: I love food! I'm not someone who is starving myself/working out with unrealistic expectations for what I want to look like. I just know that I gained 50lbs in college. So far I've lost 30lbs. I would like to lose 10lbs, if not 20lbs, more. I want to lose these extra pounds because: a) I have asthma and I can definitely notice a negative difference in lung capacity with the added weight. I would love to be able to run again without always having my inhaler on hand! b) I know exactly what havoc visceral fat has been shown to wreck on the body, and what health problems it puts you at risk for later c) I want to have more energy and if I can lose weight my body will have to expend less energy performing basic functions d) I just want to like the way I look. I've been there, I knew how active I was and I know what I have to do to get there again. I still love food! I don't deprive myself. I have some chocolate every day. I have jellybeans whenever I want them. It just drives me crazy hearing her complain on a regular basis about her weight, not liking the way she looks, and then eating junk food all the time...

Of course, it didn't help that I hadn't slept through the entire night all week. Tuesday night I woke up at 1am because the hall light was on. 3:38am I woke up because the cat was snoring that loudly... I was bit annoyed at this point, but determined to fall back asleep. Sometime after that, I have a standing floor lamp that is fairly similar to this. The three bulbs are adjustable and all have their own on/off switch. Well the middle bulb, pointed towards my desk, turned on and then off. I live in an old house, and the lamp was my older brothers so I guess it could be old as far as lamps go... so I know that it could be explained. It could be a glitch in wiring. I know some of the switches turn easier than others. (It's the switch you have to rotate to turn on.) Still, I think I heard the switch make the click sound it does once you've rotated to the "on" position. And I'm not aware that this has happened before. Needless to say, I was spooked. While I know there could be a completely rational explanation, the first thing that came to mind was my campus ministers stance on spiritual warfare. Which, is really comforting at sometime around 4am... My friend simply thinks my house is "haunted" (aka spiritual warfare). I'm not really so keen on having demons in my bedroom at the moment, so that wasn't comforting. The lamp has yet to have it's own light-show, and for the moment that is just fine with me. Despite things being quiet the next few nights, I still couldn't manage to sleep through the entire night. By yesterday, my eyes were so tired and I was starting to feel groggy. I did manage to sleep through last night but I still feel pretty gross. I have a headache and sinus pressure. Just not my day.

My most recent dilemma is money. When I cleaned out my closet, I got rid of pieces that, though I loved them, I knew (or thought) I would never wear them. Some of them were delegated to my list of items I would love to have: in a different style, color, fit, etc. One of the items on my list happens to be available online on a website that happens to be having a 50% off sale this weekend. (Actually it's technically two items: a yellow sweater and a loose crochet sweater - in one!) I saw an advertisement for the sale last night. I found a few other items I adore, including one that would replace an item I donated because I thought I would never wear it...but it turns out I really miss wearing it. Then you get into 'buy ____ more and get free shipping' and all of those seller schemes. I wasn't planning on buying any clothes this month. For now, the items are in my shopping cart. Just sitting there. I printed out the cart and my try to hit the mall for some locale shopping, or at least price comparison. See if I can find any items that would equally meet my needs with a better price tag.

In other news, HAPPY MARCH!!! March is both National Nutrition Month & National Craft Month. Yes, I'm kind of a geek. I love both of these things. That with the advent of spring, in my head even if not in reality, makes me a happy, happy girl! I'm really hoping that these happy thoughts can get my through my long to-do list for the weekend... wish me luck (not that I need it, cause I'm Irish!)