"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Update
I'm am officially stock piling blog ideas, but for today, a quick update will have to do.
My head is spinning after a delightfully productive day. Last night I was struck with purpose. I stayed up very late reading the Bible and feverishly jotting down notes. Then, naturally, I woke up early. I have been sleeping a lot recently, approximately 9 hours a night. Thanks to my energy burst last night, I got less than 6. Good at the time, but I am feeling it now. I enjoyed a relaxed morning at least. I survived work, and I felt okay most of the day actually. Then we had a work meeting after regular business hours, which wasn't even bad. Then, on a whim, I had one errand to run and decided to see if I could accomplish two others. The others were errands I was not particularly looking forward too. One involved stopping at a local church and dropping off food donations for the local food pantry. The catch is, if you don't make it to the church on Sunday, it's sometimes difficult to make it when the door for food donations is open. So much so that the Deacons, who take turns delivering the donations, warned me that if you don't make it on a Sunday, you won't make it. I suppose this is perspective: they make it seem like an unpleasant, difficult task and so it is perceived as such. But I always have lunch with my family and grandmother after church on Sundays. I didn't want to miss that, so I just decided I would make it happen somehow. I had casually looked at their calendar of events to see when the door might be open. I didn't remember anything specific on today's date, but I decided I should swing by anyway. Sure enough, the parking lot was full: the first good sign. There was one open parking spot immediately in front of the door I needed to use, so I hastily parked and jumped out to test the door. I had tried the door prior to going to work this morning, to no avail. This time, thankfully, it opened. I unloaded everything from my car and deposited the donations into the building. One task that I was afraid would be unpleasant accomplished.
In a good mood, and with my boyfriend preoccupied for the evening, I decided to use the free time to get another task accomplished. I realized a few weeks ago that I would need additional tablets for my anti-malaria medication for my Africa trip. I've been putting it off, because I don't have a current PCP and the idea of going to the local urgent care clinic just seemed unpleasant. After all, it is the height of flu season here. My parents recently commented on how people used to just stay home and rest when they had the flu, but in our instant-gratification society, no one wants to wait it out. Everyone wants to go to the hospital and be instantly cured, so the idea of sitting in a waiting room didn't paint good pictures in my head. Even so, I drove home a different route so I would drive past the clinic. I knew I would have just over an hour before they closed their doors. As it turned out, their parking lot was fairly empty. You can see the waiting room from the outside, and that was completely empty, so I guessed the cars I could see merely belonged to the staff. So I parked and went in. It went as well as it could have gone. Completely empty aside from the employees (no, I repeat no!, sick/sniffling/coughing people anywhere near me!) I was in and out in just about 20 minutes. Everyone was very nice and curious about my trip. Of course, the PA-C didn't mind that I was such an easy patient either. I only needed two more tablets, but she wrote me a prescription for 5 just incase!
Finally, I came home to eat dinner and an orange for dessert. This Africa thing is no joke: I'm on day 3 of no candy or decadent desserts because my previously mentioned sweet tooth is that bad and, assuming I won't have access to many sugary treats in rural South Africa, I'm cutting out added sugar in preparation. I shot off a few emails, to an old friend from college, to the office in San Francisco, and to the Hub in South Africa. Today's productivity is such a reminder that God is sovereign! As thankful as I am, I am ready to fall asleep any second. With my trip countdown really getting down to the wire, I will hopefully have many more updates in the coming weeks!
My head is spinning after a delightfully productive day. Last night I was struck with purpose. I stayed up very late reading the Bible and feverishly jotting down notes. Then, naturally, I woke up early. I have been sleeping a lot recently, approximately 9 hours a night. Thanks to my energy burst last night, I got less than 6. Good at the time, but I am feeling it now. I enjoyed a relaxed morning at least. I survived work, and I felt okay most of the day actually. Then we had a work meeting after regular business hours, which wasn't even bad. Then, on a whim, I had one errand to run and decided to see if I could accomplish two others. The others were errands I was not particularly looking forward too. One involved stopping at a local church and dropping off food donations for the local food pantry. The catch is, if you don't make it to the church on Sunday, it's sometimes difficult to make it when the door for food donations is open. So much so that the Deacons, who take turns delivering the donations, warned me that if you don't make it on a Sunday, you won't make it. I suppose this is perspective: they make it seem like an unpleasant, difficult task and so it is perceived as such. But I always have lunch with my family and grandmother after church on Sundays. I didn't want to miss that, so I just decided I would make it happen somehow. I had casually looked at their calendar of events to see when the door might be open. I didn't remember anything specific on today's date, but I decided I should swing by anyway. Sure enough, the parking lot was full: the first good sign. There was one open parking spot immediately in front of the door I needed to use, so I hastily parked and jumped out to test the door. I had tried the door prior to going to work this morning, to no avail. This time, thankfully, it opened. I unloaded everything from my car and deposited the donations into the building. One task that I was afraid would be unpleasant accomplished.
In a good mood, and with my boyfriend preoccupied for the evening, I decided to use the free time to get another task accomplished. I realized a few weeks ago that I would need additional tablets for my anti-malaria medication for my Africa trip. I've been putting it off, because I don't have a current PCP and the idea of going to the local urgent care clinic just seemed unpleasant. After all, it is the height of flu season here. My parents recently commented on how people used to just stay home and rest when they had the flu, but in our instant-gratification society, no one wants to wait it out. Everyone wants to go to the hospital and be instantly cured, so the idea of sitting in a waiting room didn't paint good pictures in my head. Even so, I drove home a different route so I would drive past the clinic. I knew I would have just over an hour before they closed their doors. As it turned out, their parking lot was fairly empty. You can see the waiting room from the outside, and that was completely empty, so I guessed the cars I could see merely belonged to the staff. So I parked and went in. It went as well as it could have gone. Completely empty aside from the employees (no, I repeat no!, sick/sniffling/coughing people anywhere near me!) I was in and out in just about 20 minutes. Everyone was very nice and curious about my trip. Of course, the PA-C didn't mind that I was such an easy patient either. I only needed two more tablets, but she wrote me a prescription for 5 just incase!
Finally, I came home to eat dinner and an orange for dessert. This Africa thing is no joke: I'm on day 3 of no candy or decadent desserts because my previously mentioned sweet tooth is that bad and, assuming I won't have access to many sugary treats in rural South Africa, I'm cutting out added sugar in preparation. I shot off a few emails, to an old friend from college, to the office in San Francisco, and to the Hub in South Africa. Today's productivity is such a reminder that God is sovereign! As thankful as I am, I am ready to fall asleep any second. With my trip countdown really getting down to the wire, I will hopefully have many more updates in the coming weeks!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
I've said it before, but I'll say it again. 2011 ended with a bang, but it was the bad kind. 2012 consisted of me learning how to recover. Looking back, I've been through lots of phases. High school was a blast, and senior year was like a dream. Freshman year of college was an extension of the dream. 2006 ended on a (pathetically) low note, 2007 continued to be more of the same. Recovery and getting by. In early 2009, I made a radical diet lifestyle change. In late 2009, I signed up for and began training for my first half marathon. 2010 was a banner year. And things were good, until 2011 ended with that awful, terrible bang. In a situation that should be in the plot of a lifetime movie, not very real part of my life, I ended a friendship. A friendship that, albeit having toxic undertones, lasted for the better part of 13 years. In the last week it occurred to me: that might be something I will never, truly get over. I can push through it and move on, but can I ever truly forget? Despite all its uneasiness, all the lumps and bumps in the road, 2012 was a generally good year. But don't get me wrong, I am glad it's over.
So here I am: January 6th, 2013. Tomorrow is Russian Orthodox Christmas. The holidays are officially coming to an end and the new year is officially in full swing. Complete with the hustle and bustle of gift returns, budget induced mental breakdowns, and extravagant new years resolutions.
I must confess my own emotional distress over unresolved questions surrounding my Africa trip. I have felt panicked, and preoccupied by worried anticipation. The feeling in your stomach that I lovingly refer to as 'vomtastic.' As Anne Shirley said: "The worst would be more endurable than not knowing at all." But what will be, will be and I just have to have faith that there is a bigger plan.
Of course, I have resolutions. Moreover, I love resolutions. Resolutions are the ultimate to-do list in my mind. I mentioned completing my end of year clean-out, so for the most part, I have nothing left to purge. Nothing left that does not or could not enhance my life. I want to save money. I want to follow a budget. I want to stop putting money, energy, and expectations into things. I want to enjoy what I already have, not chase after things I don't have and don't really need in the first place. I want to actively, purposely tithe what I have been given back to God, both financially and with my time and energy. I want to lose weight. This one is two-fold. I want to be healthy. I don't need to be super skinny, I want to feel powerful. Being able to run without having to take my rescue-inhaler would be nice, too. I want to use my body to glorify God. I don't want it to hold me back, and I don't want to throw away my health. I see my older relatives suffering from diabetes, fibromyalgia, back pain, and being oxygen dependent. These symptoms are perhaps not all directly related to obesity, but are certainly not helped by excess body weight. I also want to control my sweet tooth. Yes, this relates back to the being healthy segment of losing weight, but, for me, it also translates to my second motive: when the going gets rough, I get to the kitchen. Yes, I'm a sometimes-stress-eater. When my sweet tooth is in check, I can pass on stress eating. But recently, when work and life and stress collide, I make a beeline for the sweets. I'd really like to find my refuge in God, and not in sweet snacks. Watch this video, maybe it will make you think, maybe it won't, but here it is anyway:
I want to make time for daily devotions. I hope this will help keep my mindset more even and keep everything in perspective - food cravings and otherwise. I also want to blog more, about what I'm learning in my devotions. I want to be less connected. I want to spend less time on the internet. That's not to say that I'm going to opt out of my facebook account, or that I'm going to stop blogging. I just want to stop wasting mindless time on social media. I'm not sure there is a reason to spend purposeful time on facebook... but I want to spend more purposeful time blogging. I'm re-motivated to continue 'cell-free Sundays' but this year I'm calling them 'signed-off Sundays.' My goal is to devote Sunday afternoons to quiet devotions with out my cellphone, facebook, or television in the background. So that's it, those are my new years resolutions. Somehow, I think purging unnecessary possessions from my life was the easy part, but I hope purging unnecessary habits will be more rewarding.
I already mentioned the frantic flurry of new years resolutions. The weight-loss ads, the dating-site ads...all the ads the media bombards us with... As I was driving to my boyfriend's house yesterday, a woman on the radio was talking about how she feels new years resolutions are useless, and we are all setting ourselves up for failure.I don't know about that, but I know most of the resolution themed ads seem to go about things all the wrong way. I would like to think that my resolutions are centered around my relationship with Christ, and everything will fall into place accordingly. I'd like to think my resolutions are purposefully determined with the right motives. Maybe you agree with me, maybe you don't. Today is Epiphany on the Christian calendar, where we remember the wise men and their journey to find Jesus. It hit me how the majority of resolutions are all wrong in every way: formation, perspective, and execution. I think of the wise men and their devotion to this single goal of finding Jesus, regardless or in spite of how long it took to get there. They followed a star, that may not have always been easy to discern. They brought gifts for a royal king, who it turns out was just a small child. I wonder if their meeting with Jesus was what they anticipated, or if they were caught off guard by what they found. If we all had just a pinch of that purposeful devotion, how different would our world be?
Today in Church, I was greatly impressed by the prayer of confession:
God of sovereigns and commoners, we confess that we are often more impressed with famous people than we are with your amazing glory. The rules of this earth are more real to us than the One who reigns over time and eternity. Your priorities are not foremost in our lives. We reach for power and popularity more than for justice for the poor. We are more focused on prosperity than on relief for the oppressed. Our pursuits do not satisfy; save us from their fragmenting grip in our lives. Cause a new epiphany among us, we pray. Amen.
How true! How many news headlines are centered around Kim Kardashian (she's having a baby - did you hear?), or Will and Kate? How many Kardashian reality tv shows can there be at one time? When did TMZ become a reputable news source? With all that nonsense, it's no wonder that the rules of the earth overpower the rules of God. Power and popularity do so often come first over justice, and how many people would rather donate money to a cause than actually leave their own comfort zone? No, these pursuits do not satisfy - would our country, with our materialism, debt, and obesity, be such a mess if they did? We are called to be beacon's of hope. Forget about society says for one minute and remember what God says:
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God. -Micah 6: 8 [NIV]
And because the ultimate reasoning behind new years resolutions is to improve our lives in someway and make us happier. Here is what my Bible translation has to say about happiness:
So here I am: January 6th, 2013. Tomorrow is Russian Orthodox Christmas. The holidays are officially coming to an end and the new year is officially in full swing. Complete with the hustle and bustle of gift returns, budget induced mental breakdowns, and extravagant new years resolutions.
I must confess my own emotional distress over unresolved questions surrounding my Africa trip. I have felt panicked, and preoccupied by worried anticipation. The feeling in your stomach that I lovingly refer to as 'vomtastic.' As Anne Shirley said: "The worst would be more endurable than not knowing at all." But what will be, will be and I just have to have faith that there is a bigger plan.
Of course, I have resolutions. Moreover, I love resolutions. Resolutions are the ultimate to-do list in my mind. I mentioned completing my end of year clean-out, so for the most part, I have nothing left to purge. Nothing left that does not or could not enhance my life. I want to save money. I want to follow a budget. I want to stop putting money, energy, and expectations into things. I want to enjoy what I already have, not chase after things I don't have and don't really need in the first place. I want to actively, purposely tithe what I have been given back to God, both financially and with my time and energy. I want to lose weight. This one is two-fold. I want to be healthy. I don't need to be super skinny, I want to feel powerful. Being able to run without having to take my rescue-inhaler would be nice, too. I want to use my body to glorify God. I don't want it to hold me back, and I don't want to throw away my health. I see my older relatives suffering from diabetes, fibromyalgia, back pain, and being oxygen dependent. These symptoms are perhaps not all directly related to obesity, but are certainly not helped by excess body weight. I also want to control my sweet tooth. Yes, this relates back to the being healthy segment of losing weight, but, for me, it also translates to my second motive: when the going gets rough, I get to the kitchen. Yes, I'm a sometimes-stress-eater. When my sweet tooth is in check, I can pass on stress eating. But recently, when work and life and stress collide, I make a beeline for the sweets. I'd really like to find my refuge in God, and not in sweet snacks. Watch this video, maybe it will make you think, maybe it won't, but here it is anyway:
I want to make time for daily devotions. I hope this will help keep my mindset more even and keep everything in perspective - food cravings and otherwise. I also want to blog more, about what I'm learning in my devotions. I want to be less connected. I want to spend less time on the internet. That's not to say that I'm going to opt out of my facebook account, or that I'm going to stop blogging. I just want to stop wasting mindless time on social media. I'm not sure there is a reason to spend purposeful time on facebook... but I want to spend more purposeful time blogging. I'm re-motivated to continue 'cell-free Sundays' but this year I'm calling them 'signed-off Sundays.' My goal is to devote Sunday afternoons to quiet devotions with out my cellphone, facebook, or television in the background. So that's it, those are my new years resolutions. Somehow, I think purging unnecessary possessions from my life was the easy part, but I hope purging unnecessary habits will be more rewarding.
I already mentioned the frantic flurry of new years resolutions. The weight-loss ads, the dating-site ads...all the ads the media bombards us with... As I was driving to my boyfriend's house yesterday, a woman on the radio was talking about how she feels new years resolutions are useless, and we are all setting ourselves up for failure.I don't know about that, but I know most of the resolution themed ads seem to go about things all the wrong way. I would like to think that my resolutions are centered around my relationship with Christ, and everything will fall into place accordingly. I'd like to think my resolutions are purposefully determined with the right motives. Maybe you agree with me, maybe you don't. Today is Epiphany on the Christian calendar, where we remember the wise men and their journey to find Jesus. It hit me how the majority of resolutions are all wrong in every way: formation, perspective, and execution. I think of the wise men and their devotion to this single goal of finding Jesus, regardless or in spite of how long it took to get there. They followed a star, that may not have always been easy to discern. They brought gifts for a royal king, who it turns out was just a small child. I wonder if their meeting with Jesus was what they anticipated, or if they were caught off guard by what they found. If we all had just a pinch of that purposeful devotion, how different would our world be?
Today in Church, I was greatly impressed by the prayer of confession:
God of sovereigns and commoners, we confess that we are often more impressed with famous people than we are with your amazing glory. The rules of this earth are more real to us than the One who reigns over time and eternity. Your priorities are not foremost in our lives. We reach for power and popularity more than for justice for the poor. We are more focused on prosperity than on relief for the oppressed. Our pursuits do not satisfy; save us from their fragmenting grip in our lives. Cause a new epiphany among us, we pray. Amen.
How true! How many news headlines are centered around Kim Kardashian (she's having a baby - did you hear?), or Will and Kate? How many Kardashian reality tv shows can there be at one time? When did TMZ become a reputable news source? With all that nonsense, it's no wonder that the rules of the earth overpower the rules of God. Power and popularity do so often come first over justice, and how many people would rather donate money to a cause than actually leave their own comfort zone? No, these pursuits do not satisfy - would our country, with our materialism, debt, and obesity, be such a mess if they did? We are called to be beacon's of hope. Forget about society says for one minute and remember what God says:
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God. -Micah 6: 8 [NIV]
And because the ultimate reasoning behind new years resolutions is to improve our lives in someway and make us happier. Here is what my Bible translation has to say about happiness:
Hallelujah!
My soul, praise the Lord.
My soul, praise the Lord.
I will praise the Lord all my life;
I will sing to my God as long as I live.
I will sing to my God as long as I live.
Do not trust in nobles,
in man, who cannot save.
in man, who cannot save.
When his breath leaves him,
he returns to the ground;
on that day his plans die.
he returns to the ground;
on that day his plans die.
Happy is the one whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord his God,
whose hope is in the Lord his God,
the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea and everything in them.
He remains faithful forever,
the sea and everything in them.
He remains faithful forever,
executing justice for the exploited
and giving food to the hungry.
The Lord frees prisoners.
and giving food to the hungry.
The Lord frees prisoners.
The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord raises up those who are oppressed.
The Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord raises up those who are oppressed.
The Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord protects foreigners
and helps the fatherless and the widow,
but He frustrates the ways of the wicked.
and helps the fatherless and the widow,
but He frustrates the ways of the wicked.
The Lord reigns forever;
Zion, your God reigns for all generations.
Hallelujah!
Zion, your God reigns for all generations.
Hallelujah!
-Psalm 146 [HCSB]
Wishing you all best of luck with your resolutions, whatever they may be, and hoping you all find true happiness for the right reasons!
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