Showing posts with label girltalk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girltalk. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
Last Hours
I'm down to my last hours in Africa.
Last night I had dinner with Emily and Divine. Emily made me kapenta, shima, cabbage, chakalaka and brussel sprouts as my final African dinner. She then offered me an Australian cookie for dessert, but I digress... Dinner was great. I love Emily, and Divine. I'll miss them both terribly.
After dinner, Emily and I had some girl talk. It's always nice just to sit and talk with another woman. Don't get me wrong, it's nice talking to guys too. And I probably talk more openly to guys more frequently. There is just something special talking woman to woman though. We talked about how God has moved in my life: Africa, America, friendships, relationships... It was just nice, and the timing couldn't have been better as I'm preparing to leave our safe little community and return to America. An America that doesn't understand Africa. Or the Christian community with try to pursue.
After my procrastination, I am finally packed. I went down to the Village for my last prayer meeting this morning. Everyone shared what they learned about me, or why they liked having me here. I shouldn't be surprised, because since arriving here I've been constantly reminded that I don't see myself the way others see me, but I was. I was surprised that the common theme people commented on was my character. How I don't show panic or frustration. How I'm steady. Which is humbling, because I still look back on my first month and imagine a chicken running around with it's head cut off.
I am much harder on myself than is necessary. Peter, from Nigeria!, discussed Jesus' Crucifixion this morning. How if Jesus came back, he wouldn't return to the cross - because that is already complete. Jesus paid all he could pay for our sins.
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 6:23 [NIV]
I deserved to die but, through the sacrifice of Christ, God has been able to forgive me for my sins. It is one thing to know God has forgiven me. It is even one thing to forgive others. My stumbling block is the struggle to forgive myself. Admitting that requires admitting deeper wounds. Wounds that I thought, or hoped, had healed. Wounds that I have to admit are still very real.
I spent most of my time in Africa not paying attention to these wounds actually. I really thought I was okay. It's only in the last two weeks that things began to slowly unravel. It began with writing a letter. The letter is still in my possession. Of course I had every intention of delivering it. I set out to write it being completely vulnerable and honest. As I was writing it, I felt that the point was for me to write it. It was more important for me to allow myself to put those things down on paper that was intended for the eyes of someone else than it was for the paper to actually make it to that person. Upon arriving back to the Village, I was in culture shock. The Village was practically deserted, compared to when I arrived. But there were still enough people around. The right people to cause me to notice things about my own behavior. Then I had to question why I behave that way. The answer? The wounds I thought were healed.
So here I am. Sitting on the floor of Cat's room in the ladies house, sitting on my laptop next to my luggage and a pile of papers I need to put into one of my carry-on bags. Aware that some people are thrilled for my desire to come back, and hoping that it will be possible. Aware that some people don't seem quite so thrilled - but also aware that they are probably just hard for me to read. And that I'm the last person who should pass any judgment on how those people around me choose to communicate their emotions. Aware of my wounds. Aware that I will have three plane rides by myself to think and journal and process. Before finally landing at home. Or what used to be my home. For now I'm just going to say it's my parents home.
I would love to come back to Africa. I keep thinking back to Marc's story. He initially came for a two month period, like me. His first two trips were two months in length. After that he decided to come back for a longer period. I remember him discussing his struggle to discern whether he merely wanted to come back or if God was calling him back for a purpose. I feel hopeful that I will be called back, but I also wonder if part of me is so attracted to Africa because it is an easy out. Like running away. I don't realistically think that is it. Still, I want to be sure. I want to be convicted that if I come back it is for the right time and the right reasons and because God has called me back. Not just because I'm 8,000 miles from home and everyone I know and all of their expectations for my life.
But that answer will come in time. For now, I have to go home. I don't exactly want to go home, but I feel the timing is right. I need to deal with the decisions I have made in Africa. How they will affect those whom I love. My parents, my brothers, my dear nephews, and my friends. I was talking to a friend last night and told him that I hope to come back. He is a Christian and wants to be supportive, but I don't think he understands. He said that there are lots of people who have been missing me here (here being the States.) I don't doubt that is true. It's just different. I trust that my loved ones are all capable of going on without me. Of living and growing and thriving. I have always traveled far from home to make a difference in the lives of people who couldn't do it on their own. But it is hard. The idea that I might choose Africa over my family. Or a different country over my family.
But first...
4 “The Jewish people all know the way I have lived ever since I was a child, from the beginning of my life in my own country, and also in Jerusalem. 5 They have known me for a long time and can testify, if they are willing, that I conformed to the strictest sect of our religion, living as a Pharisee. 6 And now it is because of my hope in what God has promised our ancestors that I am on trial today. 7 This is the promise our twelve tribes are hoping to see fulfilled as they earnestly serve God day and night. King Agrippa, it is because of this hope that these Jews are accusing me. 8 Why should any of you consider it incredible that God raises the dead?
9 “I too was convinced that I ought to do all that was possible to oppose the name of Jesus of Nazareth. 10 And that is just what I did in Jerusalem. On the authority of the chief priests I put many of the Lord’s people in prison, and when they were put to death, I cast my vote against them. 11 Many a time I went from one synagogue to another to have them punished, and I tried to force them to blaspheme. I was so obsessed with persecuting them that I even hunted them down in foreign cities.
12 “On one of these journeys I was going to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests. 13 About noon, King Agrippa, as I was on the road, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, blazing around me and my companions. 14 We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic,[a] ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’
15 “Then I asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’
“ ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied. 16 ‘Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen and will see of me. 17 I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them 18 to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’
19 “So then, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the vision from heaven. 20 First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and then to the Gentiles, I preached that they should repent and turn to God and demonstrate their repentance by their deeds. 21 That is why some Jews seized me in the temple courts and tried to kill me. 22 But God has helped me to this very day; so I stand here and testify to small and great alike. I am saying nothing beyond what the prophets and Moses said would happen— 23 that the Messiah would suffer and, as the first to rise from the dead, would bring the message of light to his own people and to the Gentiles.”
24 At this point Festus interrupted Paul’s defense. “You are out of your mind, Paul!” he shouted. “Your great learning is driving you insane.”
25 “I am not insane, most excellent Festus,” Paul replied. “What I am saying is true and reasonable. 26 The king is familiar with these things, and I can speak freely to him. I am convinced that none of this has escaped his notice, because it was not done in a corner. 27 King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets? I know you do.”
28 Then Agrippa said to Paul, “Do you think that in such a short time you can persuade me to be a Christian?”
29 Paul replied, “Short time or long—I pray to God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains.”
30 The king rose, and with him the governor and Bernice and those sitting with them. 31 After they left the room, they began saying to one another, “This man is not doing anything that deserves death or imprisonment.”
32 Agrippa said to Festus, “This man could have been set free if he had not appealed to Caesar.”
Last night I had dinner with Emily and Divine. Emily made me kapenta, shima, cabbage, chakalaka and brussel sprouts as my final African dinner. She then offered me an Australian cookie for dessert, but I digress... Dinner was great. I love Emily, and Divine. I'll miss them both terribly.
After dinner, Emily and I had some girl talk. It's always nice just to sit and talk with another woman. Don't get me wrong, it's nice talking to guys too. And I probably talk more openly to guys more frequently. There is just something special talking woman to woman though. We talked about how God has moved in my life: Africa, America, friendships, relationships... It was just nice, and the timing couldn't have been better as I'm preparing to leave our safe little community and return to America. An America that doesn't understand Africa. Or the Christian community with try to pursue.
After my procrastination, I am finally packed. I went down to the Village for my last prayer meeting this morning. Everyone shared what they learned about me, or why they liked having me here. I shouldn't be surprised, because since arriving here I've been constantly reminded that I don't see myself the way others see me, but I was. I was surprised that the common theme people commented on was my character. How I don't show panic or frustration. How I'm steady. Which is humbling, because I still look back on my first month and imagine a chicken running around with it's head cut off.
I am much harder on myself than is necessary. Peter, from Nigeria!, discussed Jesus' Crucifixion this morning. How if Jesus came back, he wouldn't return to the cross - because that is already complete. Jesus paid all he could pay for our sins.
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 6:23 [NIV]
I deserved to die but, through the sacrifice of Christ, God has been able to forgive me for my sins. It is one thing to know God has forgiven me. It is even one thing to forgive others. My stumbling block is the struggle to forgive myself. Admitting that requires admitting deeper wounds. Wounds that I thought, or hoped, had healed. Wounds that I have to admit are still very real.
I spent most of my time in Africa not paying attention to these wounds actually. I really thought I was okay. It's only in the last two weeks that things began to slowly unravel. It began with writing a letter. The letter is still in my possession. Of course I had every intention of delivering it. I set out to write it being completely vulnerable and honest. As I was writing it, I felt that the point was for me to write it. It was more important for me to allow myself to put those things down on paper that was intended for the eyes of someone else than it was for the paper to actually make it to that person. Upon arriving back to the Village, I was in culture shock. The Village was practically deserted, compared to when I arrived. But there were still enough people around. The right people to cause me to notice things about my own behavior. Then I had to question why I behave that way. The answer? The wounds I thought were healed.
So here I am. Sitting on the floor of Cat's room in the ladies house, sitting on my laptop next to my luggage and a pile of papers I need to put into one of my carry-on bags. Aware that some people are thrilled for my desire to come back, and hoping that it will be possible. Aware that some people don't seem quite so thrilled - but also aware that they are probably just hard for me to read. And that I'm the last person who should pass any judgment on how those people around me choose to communicate their emotions. Aware of my wounds. Aware that I will have three plane rides by myself to think and journal and process. Before finally landing at home. Or what used to be my home. For now I'm just going to say it's my parents home.
I would love to come back to Africa. I keep thinking back to Marc's story. He initially came for a two month period, like me. His first two trips were two months in length. After that he decided to come back for a longer period. I remember him discussing his struggle to discern whether he merely wanted to come back or if God was calling him back for a purpose. I feel hopeful that I will be called back, but I also wonder if part of me is so attracted to Africa because it is an easy out. Like running away. I don't realistically think that is it. Still, I want to be sure. I want to be convicted that if I come back it is for the right time and the right reasons and because God has called me back. Not just because I'm 8,000 miles from home and everyone I know and all of their expectations for my life.
But that answer will come in time. For now, I have to go home. I don't exactly want to go home, but I feel the timing is right. I need to deal with the decisions I have made in Africa. How they will affect those whom I love. My parents, my brothers, my dear nephews, and my friends. I was talking to a friend last night and told him that I hope to come back. He is a Christian and wants to be supportive, but I don't think he understands. He said that there are lots of people who have been missing me here (here being the States.) I don't doubt that is true. It's just different. I trust that my loved ones are all capable of going on without me. Of living and growing and thriving. I have always traveled far from home to make a difference in the lives of people who couldn't do it on their own. But it is hard. The idea that I might choose Africa over my family. Or a different country over my family.
But first...
Acts 26
New International Version (NIV)
26 Then Agrippa said to Paul, “You have permission to speak for yourself.”
So Paul motioned with his hand and began his defense: 2 “King Agrippa, I consider myself fortunate to stand before you today as I make my defense against all the accusations of the Jews, 3 and especially so because you are well acquainted with all the Jewish customs and controversies. Therefore, I beg you to listen to me patiently.4 “The Jewish people all know the way I have lived ever since I was a child, from the beginning of my life in my own country, and also in Jerusalem. 5 They have known me for a long time and can testify, if they are willing, that I conformed to the strictest sect of our religion, living as a Pharisee. 6 And now it is because of my hope in what God has promised our ancestors that I am on trial today. 7 This is the promise our twelve tribes are hoping to see fulfilled as they earnestly serve God day and night. King Agrippa, it is because of this hope that these Jews are accusing me. 8 Why should any of you consider it incredible that God raises the dead?
9 “I too was convinced that I ought to do all that was possible to oppose the name of Jesus of Nazareth. 10 And that is just what I did in Jerusalem. On the authority of the chief priests I put many of the Lord’s people in prison, and when they were put to death, I cast my vote against them. 11 Many a time I went from one synagogue to another to have them punished, and I tried to force them to blaspheme. I was so obsessed with persecuting them that I even hunted them down in foreign cities.
12 “On one of these journeys I was going to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests. 13 About noon, King Agrippa, as I was on the road, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, blazing around me and my companions. 14 We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic,[a] ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’
15 “Then I asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’
“ ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied. 16 ‘Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen and will see of me. 17 I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them 18 to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’
19 “So then, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the vision from heaven. 20 First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and then to the Gentiles, I preached that they should repent and turn to God and demonstrate their repentance by their deeds. 21 That is why some Jews seized me in the temple courts and tried to kill me. 22 But God has helped me to this very day; so I stand here and testify to small and great alike. I am saying nothing beyond what the prophets and Moses said would happen— 23 that the Messiah would suffer and, as the first to rise from the dead, would bring the message of light to his own people and to the Gentiles.”
24 At this point Festus interrupted Paul’s defense. “You are out of your mind, Paul!” he shouted. “Your great learning is driving you insane.”
25 “I am not insane, most excellent Festus,” Paul replied. “What I am saying is true and reasonable. 26 The king is familiar with these things, and I can speak freely to him. I am convinced that none of this has escaped his notice, because it was not done in a corner. 27 King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets? I know you do.”
28 Then Agrippa said to Paul, “Do you think that in such a short time you can persuade me to be a Christian?”
29 Paul replied, “Short time or long—I pray to God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains.”
30 The king rose, and with him the governor and Bernice and those sitting with them. 31 After they left the room, they began saying to one another, “This man is not doing anything that deserves death or imprisonment.”
32 Agrippa said to Festus, “This man could have been set free if he had not appealed to Caesar.”
Sunday, July 22, 2012
First Comes Love...
"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." -1 John 4:12
so it's the SEASON FINALE of the Bachelorette!!! but in the meantime...
It was a big weekend for me too! So my friend is driving me crazy with her wedding planning. If I have a wedding, it is going to be as simple as possible. However, this is really moot point because anytime I think about having a wedding (the ceremony, the details, the attention...) I just have a mental moment. Nevertheless, my boyfriend's friend from college got married Friday. I was in a horrible mental state, but I had promised to go, so go I did - despite my current negative emotions surrounding weddings. I was a little apprehensive knowing that I'd be meeting (almost) all of my boyfriend's college friends - at once! I think I met somewhere around 16 people he went to college with. Pressure! But everyone was so amazing and gracious and fun - and thrilled that my boyfriend and I are dating! Unfortunately, we had to leave the wedding early so I could get back because I had work Saturday morning. I wish I could have stayed longer and spent more time with everyone!
Work dragged a bit Saturday. There was relief after meeting everyone at the wedding, and excitement because I was going to meet my good friend Adrienne for the Pirates game that evening. But first I had to navigate Pittsburgh and find her church. That part was easy. The game was fun. Buccos won! But it was fireworks night and no one told me... I just don't get into fireworks. The night was a good time nonetheless. That is, until it was time to go home. Adrienne and I decided it would be better for me to crash at her place than driving the whole way home with game traffic. Good in theory... But game traffic was just as bad there, and I had no idea where I was going! I somehow managed to follow Adrienne and get back to her apartment - despite not being able to see her the whole time, and almost getting into a bad accident! I was so keyed up, so I could not go to sleep. We ended up staying up and talking for a few hours, and of course facebook stalking my boyfriend's friends so she could see them all (lol!)
When I left this morning, again I had no idea where I was going. I somehow managed to get back to the North Side, where I have some sense of direction,, and eventually made it to 28. I took a detour to meet my boyfriend and one of his college roommates for breakfast. It was great to get to spend more time with his friend who lives in Washington DC and doesn't come into town very often, and it was nice to take a breather after all of the hectic driving around Pittsburgh! Pretty soon he had to leave, so my boyfriend and I got to spend some time alone - talking about everyone I met, the wedding and things that happened, in addition to just unwinding in general.
Reflecting on the weekend: I really don't like the idea of weddings. I do not want to spend an excess amount of money on one day. I don't really want to have that much attention on me to be honest. I would much rather have a small reception, maybe even elopement, and then have a party with family and a party with friends to spend more intimate time celebrating with the people who are most important to us. With that said, Matt and Mandy definitely were not afraid of the attention on their wedding day. Without even knowing either of them, you can tell that they really strive to live lives that bring glory to God. It seems that 90% of the weddings I've been to use 1 Corinthians 13, aka "the love chapter" but I was especially encouraged because that was not one of the scriptures referenced for their wedding. Instead they chose passsages from Colossians and Ephesians:
"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."
-Colossians 3:12-19 [NIV]
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." -Ephesians 5:22-33 [NIV]
I love how the passages they chose complement each other! I love how they are an instruction for a genuine loving relationship that glorifies God - because without God, there is no love. Everyone makes different choices in life and goes down different paths. I have watched friends make decisions that I would hopefully not make. I listen to friends who do not change their behavior but complain about their partner's behavior over and over again. It was so encouraging to hear the Reverend's perspective on love and marriage according to God and not the world. I don't know if I'm jaded or too much of a realist, but I don't think I have any outlandish expectations of romance. I see marriage mostly, as a choice: a commitment to stand by that person regardless of the situation. Gestures that convey your commitment and affection to your partner are meaningful and important. Those gestures can certainly create romance, but romance without that commitment means nothing. I could expand on this further, but that will be another post. ;-)
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
"this is our superbowl"
every year I watch the Bachelor(ette).
every year I whine and moan about how much ABC has manipulated the concept for ratings at the cost of (what small possibility remained for) a happy, true love ending for the show.
Why, oh why, do I subject myself to this torture you ask?
I love football. But I don't love football like my brother loves football. I'm not a guy. I think I'm missing the supreme football part of my genetics. (That sort of impassioned sports extremism is definitely part of the Y chromosome, am I right ladies?) I love sports, and I don't want to downplay that. But...
The Bachelor(ette) is my sport. It's the equivalent of Monday Night Football for the ladies.
You're forced to watch the awkward early episodes, aka preseason games. You don't always get to see the good players right away. But once you survive preseason, you are then compelled to slog through the season. The drama, the battle wounds, the casualties. Finally, you get to the final four. And the final four mean hometown dates. Or, as my coworker, who also is a lover of all things Bachelor, and I like to call them: the playoffs! (Our fascination is no joke. Just ask the poor male pharmacist who has to work with us!) This is when things really get exciting. From there the season really gets going, and finally you have the Final Rose: our superbowl!!! (Honestly, it's amazing poor Cory still talks to us!)
Well it's over for another season. 3 hours of all things ABC, Bachelor, and Chris Harrison. I get the impression that Chris Harrison would have been quite the party man in college, while still being a nice guy. (Shut up, don't tell me he's just another rude frat boy who has finally grown up.) Anyway, I like Chris Harrison. He has some undefinable endearing quality. And he always roots for the couple at the end. (Root for the home team, all that jazz.) He's perpetually happy and I love that.
Anyhoo, Ben chose the mean girl. Boo. Lindzi got the boot. There is always one girl who has a really hard time opening up to the Bachelor. This is understandable when you remember a) the season is filmed in a 6 week period and b) those moments will be broadcast on national television. I think people always fall in love with the girl who has a hard time opening up because a) we all empathize with her and b) believe that emotion is generally more sincere than a lot of the nonsense that is documented for these shows. I know I can definitely empathize with Lindzi.
On the other hand, for the first time in a long time. (Heck, maybe the first time ever!) I could care less if this Bachelor couple lasts. At least I won't be disappointed when they break up, like all (but three) franchise couples who came before them.
every year I whine and moan about how much ABC has manipulated the concept for ratings at the cost of (what small possibility remained for) a happy, true love ending for the show.
Why, oh why, do I subject myself to this torture you ask?
I love football. But I don't love football like my brother loves football. I'm not a guy. I think I'm missing the supreme football part of my genetics. (That sort of impassioned sports extremism is definitely part of the Y chromosome, am I right ladies?) I love sports, and I don't want to downplay that. But...
The Bachelor(ette) is my sport. It's the equivalent of Monday Night Football for the ladies.
You're forced to watch the awkward early episodes, aka preseason games. You don't always get to see the good players right away. But once you survive preseason, you are then compelled to slog through the season. The drama, the battle wounds, the casualties. Finally, you get to the final four. And the final four mean hometown dates. Or, as my coworker, who also is a lover of all things Bachelor, and I like to call them: the playoffs! (Our fascination is no joke. Just ask the poor male pharmacist who has to work with us!) This is when things really get exciting. From there the season really gets going, and finally you have the Final Rose: our superbowl!!! (Honestly, it's amazing poor Cory still talks to us!)
Well it's over for another season. 3 hours of all things ABC, Bachelor, and Chris Harrison. I get the impression that Chris Harrison would have been quite the party man in college, while still being a nice guy. (Shut up, don't tell me he's just another rude frat boy who has finally grown up.) Anyway, I like Chris Harrison. He has some undefinable endearing quality. And he always roots for the couple at the end. (Root for the home team, all that jazz.) He's perpetually happy and I love that.
Anyhoo, Ben chose the mean girl. Boo. Lindzi got the boot. There is always one girl who has a really hard time opening up to the Bachelor. This is understandable when you remember a) the season is filmed in a 6 week period and b) those moments will be broadcast on national television. I think people always fall in love with the girl who has a hard time opening up because a) we all empathize with her and b) believe that emotion is generally more sincere than a lot of the nonsense that is documented for these shows. I know I can definitely empathize with Lindzi.
On the other hand, for the first time in a long time. (Heck, maybe the first time ever!) I could care less if this Bachelor couple lasts. At least I won't be disappointed when they break up, like all (but three) franchise couples who came before them.
yep... even they broke up.
I would have accepted the fantasy suite with the sole goal
of waiting until he fell asleep to cut off his hair!
(even Cory thought this was a good idea- the only thing he
adds to Bach chat is commenting on Ben's bad hair)
[photos from abc.go.com]
Well, that was our superbowl. It's over. And quite frankly I'm ready for the off-season!
Maybe I'll even think of a more worthwhile way to spend my Monday nights...
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Fun Day
I honestly don't know when it happened.
I turned into a stress eater???!!!
To be fair - I only stress eat when I can't run soon enough. But with all of this friend nonsense... my nerves don't stand a chance. :-/ second-hand stress bites! for "lunch" I had a cinnamon roll, and I had an emergency chai tea today.
Work was pretty good. Mostly. #1 Tina hijacked Muzak back from the control of the back. We found a new station! "7890" (70s 80s 90s and now) good times! I left my hair curly from the show last night. And I wore makeup. So NATURALLY J would come in... Seriously? It was so awkward. First off, broski was watching me from the cafe. And it was obvious. Creep much? Secondly, I was working on something. Actually working, which is what I'm paid to do. I don't get paid to talk to broski. [If I did, I'd get a new job...] Worst off, Tina is next to me, trying not to crack up because it's obvious I don't want to talk to J. Poor fellow just needs to find a nice lady. You know, who's not me. Tina: "I don't know Jess. He added me on facebook, and he talks to me every time he's in here. But he doesn't talk to me like that (snigger)." awesome. [random sidenote: as I type, "Faith" by George Michael is on Pandora. love!!!] Then other, old J was in. At this point I begin telling myself that I'll never wear makeup to work again. But I automatically take it back. :-P I'm pretty sure at some point there was another creeper in the store, but I digress...
On the upside, Jean in all of her crazy glory, didn't say anything about my appearance. Thank goodness! Actually, neither did B. Double thank goodness! I was going back to see Boss, and ran into John on the way. He complimented me on my Facebook status posts. I didn't think I was that exciting, but woohoo positive reinforcement! That chai tea? It kept me in a good mood up until crazy lady came in. Unfortunately it was all downhill from there. Fighting with tech support. Dealing with crazy lady questions immediately after fighting with tech support. Just bad news bears.
Yet here I sit. One cup of tea, loads of aqua, and one hour of Pandora later. I'm feeling very good at the moment. I delighted in the task of cleaning out my phone. It's been awhile since I've deleted text messages or notes. Deleting text messages is the best. I have no rational explanation, but I love it. Especially with this second-hand stress nonsense. Deleting those text messages today was extra good!
My friend is making crummy decisions. I know they're crummy. She knows they're crummy. She'll more than likely regret them later. But she's making them anyway. I don't really want to sit back and watch her proceed to make said bad decisions. I'm getting second-hand stress from the drama of her life! However, if I don't sit back and watch her make said bad decisions, to at least be there to pick her up when she falls, then I'm the bad friend. Catch 22. :-/
...but tomorrow's forecast looks great for a sprint workout!!!
I turned into a stress eater???!!!
To be fair - I only stress eat when I can't run soon enough. But with all of this friend nonsense... my nerves don't stand a chance. :-/ second-hand stress bites! for "lunch" I had a cinnamon roll, and I had an emergency chai tea today.
Work was pretty good. Mostly. #1 Tina hijacked Muzak back from the control of the back. We found a new station! "7890" (70s 80s 90s and now) good times! I left my hair curly from the show last night. And I wore makeup. So NATURALLY J would come in... Seriously? It was so awkward. First off, broski was watching me from the cafe. And it was obvious. Creep much? Secondly, I was working on something. Actually working, which is what I'm paid to do. I don't get paid to talk to broski. [If I did, I'd get a new job...] Worst off, Tina is next to me, trying not to crack up because it's obvious I don't want to talk to J. Poor fellow just needs to find a nice lady. You know, who's not me. Tina: "I don't know Jess. He added me on facebook, and he talks to me every time he's in here. But he doesn't talk to me like that (snigger)." awesome. [random sidenote: as I type, "Faith" by George Michael is on Pandora. love!!!] Then other, old J was in. At this point I begin telling myself that I'll never wear makeup to work again. But I automatically take it back. :-P I'm pretty sure at some point there was another creeper in the store, but I digress...
On the upside, Jean in all of her crazy glory, didn't say anything about my appearance. Thank goodness! Actually, neither did B. Double thank goodness! I was going back to see Boss, and ran into John on the way. He complimented me on my Facebook status posts. I didn't think I was that exciting, but woohoo positive reinforcement! That chai tea? It kept me in a good mood up until crazy lady came in. Unfortunately it was all downhill from there. Fighting with tech support. Dealing with crazy lady questions immediately after fighting with tech support. Just bad news bears.
Yet here I sit. One cup of tea, loads of aqua, and one hour of Pandora later. I'm feeling very good at the moment. I delighted in the task of cleaning out my phone. It's been awhile since I've deleted text messages or notes. Deleting text messages is the best. I have no rational explanation, but I love it. Especially with this second-hand stress nonsense. Deleting those text messages today was extra good!
My friend is making crummy decisions. I know they're crummy. She knows they're crummy. She'll more than likely regret them later. But she's making them anyway. I don't really want to sit back and watch her proceed to make said bad decisions. I'm getting second-hand stress from the drama of her life! However, if I don't sit back and watch her make said bad decisions, to at least be there to pick her up when she falls, then I'm the bad friend. Catch 22. :-/
...but tomorrow's forecast looks great for a sprint workout!!!
“In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” -Lee Iacocca
to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” -Lee Iacocca
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing...
Morning tea: Check
Catch up with Raymondo: Check
Random videos on YouTube: Check
I love Mondays!
I'm biding my time. It's going to be an enjoyably busy day. First I'm meeting with Season for a coffee date. I haven't seen her for a few weeks, and the last time Joey was along too. No offense boys, but this will be uninterrupted girl time. I've allotted Season 3 hours of my time. This coffee date has all the potential to be mind-blowing and then some. I ruminate. I journal; I blog. And then I discuss it with someone just to take the final edge off. Season is a more traditional verbal processor. 3 hours of potentially life changing, mind-blowing, verbal processing. But what are friends for? :-)
I wouldn't run this morning anyway. It's only 54degrees. Really??!! It's June, PA, it would be nice if you could get on the program... But it's okay. I'm running after work anyway, when it will be pleasant and in the high 60s. love. It's not the delightful torture of 80+... but it'll do. ;-)
I realize that there wasn't exactly a point to this post, but oh well...
...I must be off, doomsday approaches...
Catch up with Raymondo: Check
Random videos on YouTube: Check
I love Mondays!
I'm biding my time. It's going to be an enjoyably busy day. First I'm meeting with Season for a coffee date. I haven't seen her for a few weeks, and the last time Joey was along too. No offense boys, but this will be uninterrupted girl time. I've allotted Season 3 hours of my time. This coffee date has all the potential to be mind-blowing and then some. I ruminate. I journal; I blog. And then I discuss it with someone just to take the final edge off. Season is a more traditional verbal processor. 3 hours of potentially life changing, mind-blowing, verbal processing. But what are friends for? :-)
I wouldn't run this morning anyway. It's only 54degrees. Really??!! It's June, PA, it would be nice if you could get on the program... But it's okay. I'm running after work anyway, when it will be pleasant and in the high 60s. love. It's not the delightful torture of 80+... but it'll do. ;-)
I realize that there wasn't exactly a point to this post, but oh well...
...I must be off, doomsday approaches...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)