First Comes Love...

"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." -1 John 4:12

so it's the SEASON FINALE of the Bachelorette!!! but in the meantime...

It was a big weekend for me too! So my friend is driving me crazy with her wedding planning. If I have a wedding, it is going to be as simple as possible. However, this is really moot point because anytime I think about having a wedding (the ceremony, the details, the attention...) I just have a mental moment. Nevertheless, my boyfriend's friend from college got married Friday. I was in a horrible mental state, but I had promised to go, so go I did - despite my current negative emotions surrounding weddings. I was a little apprehensive knowing that I'd be meeting (almost) all of my boyfriend's college friends - at once! I think I met somewhere around 16 people he went to college with. Pressure! But everyone was so amazing and gracious and fun - and thrilled that my boyfriend and I are dating! Unfortunately, we had to leave the wedding early so I could get back because I had work Saturday morning. I wish I could have stayed longer and spent more time with everyone!

Work dragged a bit Saturday. There was relief after meeting everyone at the wedding, and excitement because I was going to meet my good friend Adrienne for the Pirates game that evening. But first I had to navigate Pittsburgh and find her church. That part was easy. The game was fun. Buccos won! But it was fireworks night and no one told me... I just don't get into fireworks. The night was a good time nonetheless. That is, until it was time to go home. Adrienne and I decided it would be better for me to crash at her place than driving the whole way home with game traffic. Good in theory... But game traffic was just as bad there, and I had no idea where I was going! I somehow managed to follow Adrienne and get back to her apartment - despite not being able to see her the whole time, and almost getting into a bad accident! I was so keyed up, so I could not go to sleep. We ended up staying up and talking for a few hours, and of course facebook stalking my boyfriend's friends so she could see them all (lol!)

When I left this morning, again I had no idea where I was going. I somehow managed to get back to the North Side, where I have some sense of direction,, and eventually made it to 28. I took a detour to meet my boyfriend and one of his college roommates for breakfast. It was great to get to spend more time with his friend who lives in Washington DC and doesn't come into town very often, and it was nice to take a breather after all of the hectic driving around Pittsburgh! Pretty soon he had to leave, so my boyfriend and I got to spend some time alone - talking about everyone I met, the wedding and things that happened, in addition to just unwinding in general.

Reflecting on the weekend: I really don't like the idea of weddings. I do not want to spend an excess amount of money on one day. I don't really want to have that much attention on me to be honest. I would much rather have a small reception, maybe even elopement, and then have a party with family and a party with friends to spend more intimate time celebrating with the people who are most important to us. With that said, Matt and Mandy definitely were not afraid of the attention on their wedding day. Without even knowing either of them, you can tell that they really strive to live lives that bring glory to God. It seems that 90% of the weddings I've been to use 1 Corinthians 13, aka "the love chapter" but I was especially encouraged because that was not one of the scriptures referenced for their wedding. Instead they chose passsages from Colossians and Ephesians:


"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

-Colossians 3:12-19 [NIV]

^"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." -Ephesians 5:22-33 [NIV]

I love how the passages they chose complement each other! I love how they are an instruction for a genuine loving relationship that glorifies God - because without God, there is no love. Everyone makes different choices in life and goes down different paths. I have watched friends make decisions that I would hopefully not make. I listen to friends who do not change their behavior but complain about their partner's behavior over and over again. It was so encouraging to hear the Reverend's perspective on love and marriage according to God and not the world. I don't know if I'm jaded or too much of a realist, but I don't think I have any outlandish expectations of romance. I see marriage mostly, as a choice: a commitment to stand by that person regardless of the situation. Gestures that convey your commitment and affection to your partner are meaningful and important. Those gestures can certainly create romance, but romance without that commitment means nothing. I could expand on this further, but that will be another post. ;-)

Whatever your hand finds to do...

"And I won't be ashamed,
Of the things we once made,
And I won't be coming back
'Round here no more."

Hi blog world! Let me tell you, it has been a busy few weeks!!!

I have (mostly) made a full recovery from the plague.
In the war on clutter: I got rid of possessions that I love. Previously I was getting rid of things I don't love or don't use. This is the harder, but more rewarding step. I love purging so much, that I purged my hair! It's so short I can't even put it in a ponytail!
But, I'm going to put the great purge on hold. I'm going to a) focus on finalizing plans for Africa [prayers please!] and b) taking a mental break. I want to resolve unanswered Africa questions. I want to watch the movies that I have decided are keepers - to determine that they actually are keepers. I want to read books. I want to run on the trail. I want to be a vegetable.

My typical days include going to work, going home and getting on the internet, going to bed and doing it again the next day. I love the internet, but sometimes a girl just needs a break. Yesterday was such a day. It was a very crazy, stressful day at work. I indulged in some convenience food. I took care of sorting some boxes and cleaning up in general. I put away a lot of laundry. I put away my other linens. And if it wasn't something that needed to be dealt with asap, I put it in my closet and closed the door. I'm serious about this purging break. Even if it's a short week or two, I am committed. I think it will help the 'use it or lose it' argument. ie: I have puzzles, but I've never put them together. And other nonsensical things I'm holding onto for no real reason. But the immediate focus will hopefully be Christian living. And I mean actually living, not just talking about what I'd like to do. In theory, even forcing myself to rewatch the Bachelorette episodes so far, and finally giving you my feelings, as promised!

If you read my last entry, you know I'm mourning the loss of my childhood. Two weeks later, I can say that it actually feels kind of awesome. 95% of the things I get rid of I don't miss at all. In fact it made me feel so awesome, I encouraged my boyfriend to do the same. Initially, this didn't go so well. I became that girlfriend; the one who wants to hijack her boyfriends life. In all honesty, I'd just prefer that his stuff didn't hijack his life. Insert boyfriend's friend and you have bad news. Why people insist on holding onto stuff that they will realistically never use, I have no idea. Needless to say, I avoided the friend for a few days, kept my opinions to myself and my boyfriend has since gotten rid of 57 VHS tapes... that's all she wrote! Thankfully my brother is a young man after my own heart! Sunday he asked me to help him, and our youngest brother, clean out their room. True, this was mostly because he is totally ready to get rid of everything and my youngest brother is just not motivated to do so. So while he did have selfish motivation, it was productive. We got rid of a ton of clothes. I was actually driving around with a huge box of their clothes in my car. I was initially planning on taking it to Goodwill. Instead, I ran into my friend Rudy who spearheads a huge bash for local underprivileged children every year. I wanted to talk to him because I have some supplies I finally cleaned out of my desk. The advertised list is kindof minimal, but after talking to Rudy I realized I could donate a lot more to these kids - including my brothers clothes! They advertised the donation of children's clothes: since my brothers are 16 and 18 I don't really consider them 'children', but Rudy reminded me of the obesity problem we have. So now I know where their clothes will be going!

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom." -Ecclesiastes 9:10[NIV]

Time to go continue being productive!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

It's been one year since I revamped my blog! You know what they say: "Time flies when you're having fun!"

This week one of my brothers graduated from high school.
My other brother infected our entire family with the plague.
I've been sick since Tuesday. Very, very sad. So far symptoms have migrated from my head downward. Which means I officially sound weird, and my throat is irritated 99% of the time I'm awake. Lovely. My friend and her husband were sick for two entire weeks. I'm really hoping that my family has caught a different plague!

In my misery, I am unabashedly guzzling Sierra Mist. #1 because I'm a baby when I'm sick. I have no shame; I'll admit it! I don't drink pop/soda any other time, but when I'm sick it (the bubbly, carbonated goodness of Sierra Mist) is the only thing that makes life seem worth living. And #2 because I generally have absolutely no appetite when I'm sick. Sugary beverages aren't ideal, but it keeps the kcal count up!

After several weeks of working overtime and having jam-packed weekends, I feel like I'm winning: I had a day off (albeit it was the beginning of the plague, so arguably time underutilized) and I have a weekend all to myself. My nephews are otherwise occupied; my boyfriend is off celebrating guys weekend. This gives me an excuse to not set foot outside my house, save for work for 6 hrs on Saturday. (Sunday - we will see, right now I feel like if I went to Church I'd just end up coughing and blowing my nose the entire time. Very attractive, and very conducive to worship, obviously. I might have to keep the Sabbath holy from the confines of my bedroom.) Anyway, the light at the end of this miserable tunnel is a) Sierra Mist and b) free time to do whatever I want!

Since I can't breathe to begin with, I figured I might as well clean. Dusting (because I can't breathe anyway), sorting through some books, and old stuff I haven't used in years. I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but some point this week, between the Sierra Mist and NyQuil, I mourned the loss of my childhood. I am coming to terms with the fact that I'm single so I am not married and I don't have kids. In short, I go to work and then come home and take care of myself. In short, I have no large responsibilities. I am coming to terms with the fact that all of the "hobbies" and necessary supplies lying stagnant around my room aren't actually hobbies. If I don't make time for them now, there is no way I will make time for them when I'm married, let alone when if I'm raising a family. This brings me to one of my favorite men: Thomas Jefferson, or TJ as I like to call him, because I'm a nerd like that. TJ had some good advice to live by. Moses brought us the 10 Commandments; TJ brought us the 10 Rules of Conduct. Naturally, being the early American History nerd that I am, I have TJ's 10 Rules of Conduct in my room. Imprinted on a mug. (Don't judge me.) I came across the mug as I was dusting and rearranging the bookshelf. Debating the likelihood that I will make myself sit still long enough to read various books and debating if I should just get ready for bed, under the assumption that I will one day beat the plague. Then I saw it. Rule of Conduct #1: "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today." It worked. I spent 2 more hours cleaning. Well played, TJ.

Now, naturally, there are piles of things to be sorted and boxed. Craft supplies I will never use; school supplies that can be donated to a local mission for underprivileged children. Items that don't enrich my life or hold the meaning they once did; items that I can't picture in "my" (future) house. I've been reading articles about purging clutter from your life; letting go of who you thought you were (and the items that were part of that picture) and embracing who you are (and keeping only the items that enrich that life.) Hopefully the momentum continues. I still have a few problem spots to tackle. And 9 more Rules of Conduct to work through. ;-)

Expectations

Never fear, blog world! I have not forgotten about my inaugural Bachelorette blog. I have just been distracted.

Work has been going well. I have found a new ally in our intern, Von. Our days involve me explaining how to do tasks and why they are done that way, and answering his questions, and then talking about Big Bang Theory. Von is awesome.

Have you ever watched an infant that refuses to crawl, but keeps trying to run? They can pretend they have some sense of equilibrium for brief periods of time. Maybe they can even make you believe that they are in control of their balance. That they can really run. Until they try to move and everything comes crashing down.

Sometimes grownups are like that too.

They can appear to have it all together. They can put on a great show. But if you don't crawl first, you can't run. If you try to run, everything you've worked for will come crashing down in an instant. It's incredibly frustrating to watch. But, it's because we allow ourselves to believe the charade. Our expectations are that it will be true. When those expectations fall short, it can seem heartbreaking. This explains how I'm feeling.

Mother's Day Mayhem

I feel like I have been beaten up.

On Friday, Cory asked me how many hours I had logged this week. We spent much more time together than we normally do this week, since Steph and Terri are both off, and he guessed that I'd be getting close to overtime. Close yes, but not in the danger zone. I was saved by the extended lunch break I took on Monday. [A happy coincidence: we had over scheduled front staff, and I felt miserable with a nagging headache. I gladly agreed to leave with the hope of a break and a hot meal providing some relief before coming back for the evening with the back staff.]

I was also watching Terri's dog while she was recovering from surgery. A dog that is a) a puppy b) hyperactive, to say the least! and c) insists on waking up at 5am. To say that I was overworked and sleep deprived this week is an understatement. Then I realized that I only have one day off the next three weeks: Memorial Day (+ Sundays, because we are closed.) No days off + a lot of laundry that still needs put away + more laundry that still needs washed + dishes + ... The list goes on.

Then there is that whole Amendment 1 thing. You may have heard of it, but in case you've been living under a rock, you can read about it here. I think the homosexual debate is quite complicated and I don't feel inclined to delve into my personal feelings on that right now. After the law was passed, friends on both sides of the debate let the comments fly. One friend in particular called me quite upset, on the verge of tears, about how the idea of marriage between homosexuals is so wrong. It was a Matthew 7 moment:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." -Matthew 7:3-5

The Bible plainly states that God intended for man and woman to be together and that homosexuality is at odds with God's plan for us. Yet, there are things this friend is doing in their life that are also contrary to what is said in the Bible. I don't feel that I am currently in the place to pass judgment or offer council. I don't think I can offer words to inspire change, and am afraid of offering words that merely cause defense and hurt. So I wait and trust that things will happen according to God's plan.


And to cap off the week of crazy work, lack of sleep, Saturday was date night. After date night I had grand thoughts of finalizing my Sunday School lesson, maybe folding some laundry and going to bed early. Instead, I got home, was tackled by my nephew Andrew (and later by Christian) who was surprising Mom for Mother's Day. We stayed up until midnight when I finally couldn't take it anymore and went to bed. Overslept, but still found time to sort of get my lesson in order. Then we went to my grandmother's house for lunch, and of course had to see all the cows, roosters, and the billy goat. Then Lucius and I took a nap, because nephews wear. us. out.!!!


I'm still feeling not so great, but I think this crazy week has inspired some good things. Here's a sneak peak to inspire you:

#1. Awe, don't they look cute? Bachelor Brad Womack proposed to Emily Maynard during his second stint as The Bachelor. Well they broke up and now the Emily is back to be The Bachelorette. Everyone knows that Albert Einstein is a pretty smart guy. And everyone knows that he said: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Everyone except for those people who decide to look for love on National Television, ABC style of course. This season get ready. You'll all get to witness what my boyfriend calls "Monday-Morning Quarterbacking" - Bachelor style. The past few seasons seem to be getting progressively worse, but I can't bring myself to stop watching. This season I'm going to make the most of this glutton-for-punishment quality: I'm going to blog about the episodes and breakdown these "love connections." What are they doing right? What are they doing wrong? Should these relationships even be categorized as love, as God intended it?

 

#2. Back to that Matthew 7:3-5 thing: Let's take a look at the common life. aka mine. What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? How am I failing as a Christian? Will a change in habits make a drastic change in my general outlook?

 Stay tuned blog-world!!!

God's Plan

As I'm getting ready to go to a Church meeting, which I am not looking forward to because we have difficult decisions ahead.

This popped up on my facebook newsfeed because my friend subscribes to Life and Love and gets their updates:

And today's Our Daily Bread devotional comes from 1 John:

^"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.  Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God  and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him.  And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us." -1 John 3:16-23

If that isn't encouragement for days like today, I don't know what is! If nothing else, hopefully this will help keep me in the appropriate mindset. The road ahead will be difficult, but I shouldn't worry because it's all part of God's plan. All I can do is [try to] keep His commandments and glorify Him!

Unexpected

“Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day” -Ann Landers



6 months to the day. for serious.
you have got to be kidding.

now, before I get carried away with irrational emotion, [okay, maybe after I initially experienced some intense emotions] I decided to find a list of qualities that people describe in "good" men. Google it, there are lots of them. Or just go here to expand upon this immediate study:

1. He treats you well

2. He is a man of his word

3. He loves you inside and out

4. He has a bright future

5. He is able to guide and protect you

6. He is confident in himself

7. He is an independent man

8. He is appreciative of you

9. He speaks and acts honestly

10. He has good morality

in the event that you read this, and in case you were wondering,
you're 3 for 10.