Friday, December 30, 2011

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?

“The first duty of love is to listen.” -Paul Tillich

My heart has been a little bit heavy these last few days. We are all growing up. Some of our lives are changing; some are not. I am facing the demise of a long friendship.

Partly because of this stressful situation, I already took down and packed away my Christmas tree and all of my decorations. As I was putting all of my non-Christmas decor back in place, I glanced upon a sign I had gotten on a business trip last year. For the past several months, prior to Christmas, it has sat, largely unnoticed, on my bookshelf. It simply states: "a true friend always lifts you up."

For this particular friendship, this has not been the case. Quite the opposite; I believe they bring out the worst in me. Yet I was still struggling with the idea of losing them. One evening, after a particularly dramatic two days, I took a long shower to clear my head. Then it came to me. The passage in James that warns us we should only produce praise or cursing, not both.

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.  Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?  My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."-James 3:9-12 [NIV]

Proverbs also warns us about choosing our friends wisely.

"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." -Proverbs 13:20 [ESV]
 
 I decided to reread "Something Borrowed" and "Something Blue" by Emily Giffin. I've probably blogged about them before, they are some of my favorites. I just love the depth of emotion they show you, while exploring what it truly means to be a good friend - and what characteristics we exhibit that are not part of being a good friend. I love this quote from "Something Blue":
 
“Love and friendship. They are what make us who we are, and what can change us, if we let them.”

2011 hasn't been an easy year. It's been filled with mistakes, poor choices, and drama. But, thankfully, it generally ended on a high note. Completing another half marathon. Growing up - and making decisions accordingly. I can only hope that these positive events keep happening in 2012. [and that the drama of this waning friendship is kept to a minimum]

Wishing you all happiness as we celebrate a New Year, full of new potential! Happy New Year!!!

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