Unexpected

I just got home from our work holiday party.

Yes, it's a month after Christmas.

I wasn't expecting to enjoy it. We had to bring a trade and steal white elephant gift. We were also given "funny money" to bid in an auction. I went in thinking that I wouldn't come home with anything. After all, I've spent the last year getting rid of as much as possible. Never the less, the trade and steal white elephant round was... kind of a bust. There were a few things that got stolen a few times (a really nice woven blanket, and wine), but mostly we just stuck with what we got. This made our MC most displeased. However, the auction round? AWESOME!!! Each employee was given $315 of funny money to bid on items. I wasn't necessarily "I need to have that!" in love with anything, but I wholeheartedly enjoyed bidding just to raise the stakes. I got a basket with a really pretty necklace and earrings set (and other stuff I didn't so much care about). My better steal were two baskets I bid for. They included: three cookbooks, two cutting boards, one large bowl, and eight small bowls. The cutting boards and the bowls are all in the same pattern: yellow background with cherries. The gift I got in the trade and steal round was a cast iron brownie set and red pot holders (which match the red cherries!!!) And my brownies got rave reviews. All in all, it was a successful party.

I may have over-indulged... Time to unwind and relax with my kitties.

In Everything Give Thanks: January Edition

January has been a busy, confusing, crazy, and hectic month. I'm still adjusting to all things mentioned in my last post. [Positive: super eating and sleep habits! Negative: end of friendship fallout. Also, in the first three weeks of January, I was called in to work extra four times.] *The super eating and sleep habits have contributed to a supposed 6lb weight loss. For this, I am thankful. [How are YOUR new years resolutions going?]

This past weekend I went to visit my best friend with her fiance in Virginia. Cons: 14 hours in a Jeep Pros: a break from my normal routine, and actually stopping for five seconds to relax. For this, I am thankful.

I want to go to Africa. I am working towards this goal. I have stayed at my current job because of this goal. Why bother putting energy into finding a new job when I will leave for two months anyway? So despite low wages and under-appreciation from my higher-ups, I stayed. I have been available any and every time they need me. I do what I'm asked without complaining (usually). Yesterday I was told by my manager (in the back) that, if I go to Africa, I will not have a job there (in the back) when I return. Though this was a change from what she told me just a few months ago... I'm not sure it made a difference. I do not believe continuing with this job would be a good use of my time. There are certainly better choices I could make for myself. Yet, the finality of the conversation sent me spinning. I will no longer have a steady job. I will no longer have a steady paycheck. I will still have steady bills.

I knew it was coming. And I still panicked.

Immediately after our conversation, I went to get a vaccine. TwinRix [Hep A + Hep B] good times. For weeks all I've heard was about how painful it is. I was focusing on a) saying the Lord's Prayer (it's my ting in times of "extreme" stress) b)relaxing my arm and c) not puking and/or fainting on the pharmacist. (Success on all counts, btw!) I ran a few errands. Then I ran home to get a grip on myself.

I grabbed my to-do binder, my journal and my Bible. I wrote a quick entry in my journal, unloading my immediate fears, thoughts and concerns on paper. Then, after this emotional purging exercise, I grabbed my Bible and frantically found Matthew 6: 25-34:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I started with verses 31 through 34 (see purple section). After I had thought about those for a minute, in the context of my situation, I started from the beginning of the passage. It is a passage I've turned to time and time again. I can almost say it word for word by memory. Somehow it is always that much better when I am reading it, as opposed to just reciting it.

I calculated my current and impending expenses and wages I would make before my trip. I spoke to a few of my friends to get some more apprehension out of my system.

Then I made food for the next three days of work. And I got ready for bed.

As nerve racking as yesterday was, today was THAT awesome!

I woke up, basically, on time. Washed three loads of laundry and showered. Went in to work because though Tuesdays are my off days, there was some debate as to if I was needed (I wasn't). Talked to my front end manager and the buyer while I was there. Ran an errand for them. Stopped at the local bakery (I had a gift certificate) and Aldis, to stock up on more nuts for my evening snack. Came home to change out of my work clothes, eat lunch and get back on my to-do list. I washed more laundry, in addition to putting away laundry - probably everything I've washed this year. Finding time to wash laundry is easy; finding time to actually put it away is not. I've sorted, rearranged, and organized for hours.

As apprehensive as I was last night, tonight I am fulfilled.

Tomorrow will be a new day with new challenges, but tonight I am content. For this, I am thankful.

Time

...and time goes by so slowly

and time can do so much...

[I am a Mississippi girl. My grandmother grew up with Elvis Presley.
I grew up spending my summers in Tupelo and hearing old stories.
So in honor of his 77th birthday tomorrow, Happy Birthday Elvis!!!]

"Time is too slow for those who wait,

too swift for those who fear,

too long for those who grieve,

too short for those who rejoice,

but for those who love, time is eternity."

-Henry Van Dyke

Is it just me, or has this week felt like an eternity? My calendar tells me it is only January 7th, but that just can't be right. It feels like New Years Eve was months ago.


I've been taking care of myself. I mean really taking care of myself.
Drinking only unsweetened beverages. [This really made a noticeable difference, especially the first few days after cutting sugar out.] I've been eating my fruits and veggies. Religiously. Every. Day. Flossing, brushing, and using mouth wash. And sleeping - like a champion. Minimizing sugar while eating healthy = amazing sleep. Seriously. So far, it has even been keeping the runners insomnia away - because I'm also back on my running schedule. Love the trail!


All of these changes have been great. It really hit me a few days ago. I woke up feeling perfectly healthy. I've even been trying to cut out drama. Read: rethinking who my true friends are and devoting my energy to those individuals. People who lift me up and bring out the best in me. Not people who bring unnecessary drama in my life. Work provides more than enough drama.

But here's the thing about drama. You get so used to it, you miss it when it's gone. I've had someone in my life for the past 13 years. They are addicted to drama. While I didn't like it, I had become accustomed to the buzz around the drama. The constant background noise. Now, my life is generally silent. I go to work, take care of myself, talk to a few friends every day and spend a lot of time my true loves, the cats. But it's all so quiet and still. I miss the person, but I do not miss their drama. I know if they were going to change, it would have happened by now. I do miss the background noise, if only because I'm so accustomed to it's presence.


Life seems to be slowing down. Odd, considering how busy and scheduled my time is. I had a "down" day a few days ago. Remembering and thinking of the 'what ifs'. I just have to focus on doing what is right for me, while learning to love the silence, and to love what is good for me.

"True friendship is a plant of slow growth,

and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity,

before it is entitled to the appellation."

-George Washington