First Comes Love...

"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." -1 John 4:12

so it's the SEASON FINALE of the Bachelorette!!! but in the meantime...

It was a big weekend for me too! So my friend is driving me crazy with her wedding planning. If I have a wedding, it is going to be as simple as possible. However, this is really moot point because anytime I think about having a wedding (the ceremony, the details, the attention...) I just have a mental moment. Nevertheless, my boyfriend's friend from college got married Friday. I was in a horrible mental state, but I had promised to go, so go I did - despite my current negative emotions surrounding weddings. I was a little apprehensive knowing that I'd be meeting (almost) all of my boyfriend's college friends - at once! I think I met somewhere around 16 people he went to college with. Pressure! But everyone was so amazing and gracious and fun - and thrilled that my boyfriend and I are dating! Unfortunately, we had to leave the wedding early so I could get back because I had work Saturday morning. I wish I could have stayed longer and spent more time with everyone!

Work dragged a bit Saturday. There was relief after meeting everyone at the wedding, and excitement because I was going to meet my good friend Adrienne for the Pirates game that evening. But first I had to navigate Pittsburgh and find her church. That part was easy. The game was fun. Buccos won! But it was fireworks night and no one told me... I just don't get into fireworks. The night was a good time nonetheless. That is, until it was time to go home. Adrienne and I decided it would be better for me to crash at her place than driving the whole way home with game traffic. Good in theory... But game traffic was just as bad there, and I had no idea where I was going! I somehow managed to follow Adrienne and get back to her apartment - despite not being able to see her the whole time, and almost getting into a bad accident! I was so keyed up, so I could not go to sleep. We ended up staying up and talking for a few hours, and of course facebook stalking my boyfriend's friends so she could see them all (lol!)

When I left this morning, again I had no idea where I was going. I somehow managed to get back to the North Side, where I have some sense of direction,, and eventually made it to 28. I took a detour to meet my boyfriend and one of his college roommates for breakfast. It was great to get to spend more time with his friend who lives in Washington DC and doesn't come into town very often, and it was nice to take a breather after all of the hectic driving around Pittsburgh! Pretty soon he had to leave, so my boyfriend and I got to spend some time alone - talking about everyone I met, the wedding and things that happened, in addition to just unwinding in general.

Reflecting on the weekend: I really don't like the idea of weddings. I do not want to spend an excess amount of money on one day. I don't really want to have that much attention on me to be honest. I would much rather have a small reception, maybe even elopement, and then have a party with family and a party with friends to spend more intimate time celebrating with the people who are most important to us. With that said, Matt and Mandy definitely were not afraid of the attention on their wedding day. Without even knowing either of them, you can tell that they really strive to live lives that bring glory to God. It seems that 90% of the weddings I've been to use 1 Corinthians 13, aka "the love chapter" but I was especially encouraged because that was not one of the scriptures referenced for their wedding. Instead they chose passsages from Colossians and Ephesians:


"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

-Colossians 3:12-19 [NIV]

^"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." -Ephesians 5:22-33 [NIV]

I love how the passages they chose complement each other! I love how they are an instruction for a genuine loving relationship that glorifies God - because without God, there is no love. Everyone makes different choices in life and goes down different paths. I have watched friends make decisions that I would hopefully not make. I listen to friends who do not change their behavior but complain about their partner's behavior over and over again. It was so encouraging to hear the Reverend's perspective on love and marriage according to God and not the world. I don't know if I'm jaded or too much of a realist, but I don't think I have any outlandish expectations of romance. I see marriage mostly, as a choice: a commitment to stand by that person regardless of the situation. Gestures that convey your commitment and affection to your partner are meaningful and important. Those gestures can certainly create romance, but romance without that commitment means nothing. I could expand on this further, but that will be another post. ;-)