Just Breathe

Tomorrow I am having a luncheon at my Church to raise support for my missionary trip to South Africa. I had a productive morning. I cut some fabric for a few projects I'm working on, and then I baked a bunch of goodies for tomorrow. My mom, brother, and I went to the Church to prepare a few other things. I was ready to crash by the time we got back home. After eating dinner with my family, I began to really feel the heat. I couldn't focus on my favorite television show, or on my Bible reading. There is something so unnerving about relinquishing control and allowing others to impact your life. It's one thing to be proactive and rely on yourself all the time. That can be a good thing, and certainly takes qualities and habits that can be beneficial in many areas of life. But we also need to be vulnerable. To be reminded that we are not, that we can not, be truly self-sufficient. If I didn't have Jesus in my life, I would definitely be a lot worse off than I am now. I need His guidance, His grace. It is still incredibly humbling to openly invite others to take an active role in your faith journey. To be my partners on this journey, whether it is actively, financially, emotionally, or just in prayer. But I am not bold, and I don't thrive in the limelight, so I was really stressing out.

So I caved. Because I could not focus on anything else, I talked to my best friend. The wheels in my head were going 100 miles per minute, and I jokingly referenced putting up my Christmas tree. I do love Christmas, and I did get out all of my Christmas music, but I wasn't actually planning on putting up my tree this early. But, I was so stressed out, and my best friend said I should put my tree up. I was shocked because she does not like to think about Christmas until after Thanksgiving. But she is my best friend, and she knows me, and she knew it would take my mind off of tomorrow and help me calm down. So here I sit, next to an (unlit) Christmas tree. And my animatronic mouse that sings 'Jingle Bell Rock.'  I must admit, it worked. Now I just have to get some rest before tomorrow. Yikes...

So the twentieth thing I am thankful for is(are) my best friend(s)! They are always there for me when I need someone to listen.