Halloween

Sometimes when I begin typing "google" into the address bar, it defaults to "google.co.za/" this makes my heart happy. so happy.

It's Halloween in America. Happy Halloween, I guess. I like Halloween in that it triggers memories of my childhood, colonial America, and history. I automatically associate Halloween with The Crucible, the Salem Witch Trials, The Village, etc. The Crucible is much cooler than wandering the streets in costumes and eating junk candy, in my opinion. In other context, Halloween means two very important things: Thanksgiving is coming, and it is (mostly) socially acceptable to listen to Christmas music. Happy Times.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, American Thanksgiving comes late this year. Not until November 28th. That is nearly a month away. In my disgust of nothing worthwhile being on TV, and in combination with my desire to abandon everything I cling to from the past, I unplugged my TV and DVD player. I plan on hiding the remotes, I just haven't decided on the best place. I won't have any reason to watch TV until Thanksgiving, when I will probably want to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade for nostalgia, if nothing else. I'm hoping this will also help me tame the demon "want" by limiting the amount of advertisements that I see/hear on a daily basis. Despite my intentions, it's been quite some time since I've had a proper TV fast. I'm not sure how it will go, or how it will make me feel but I'm optimistic.

I am optimistic in general in spite of being constantly heartbroken. The other day I was reading something my friend Jayme had posted about the chocolate industry and slave labor in Africa. It literally made me sick to my stomach and needless to say I am figuring out how I can transition to only fair-trade chocolate. God is changing my heart. I'm surrounded by so much that has little to no impact on my life. God is encouraging me to learn how to love more by loving less. Loving less "things" will allow me to direct more love towards people and into relationships. Things are such a drain. They drain your focus, time, energy. Things need maintained. Things cling onto your soul so tightly so that you think you need them. Because you "might use them one day" or because you think they make you, or your life, better. I see people who cling onto everything so tightly because "they might use it one day." They have so many things that they end up not using anything. I am human. I like things. I like having things. Even when I don't use them. Even when they don't make my life better. But I want to love God more. I want to put more energy into my relationships than into maintaining my things. Having things is work. You have to maintain them, organize them, and they don't give you anything in return. Relationships with people need maintained as well, but at least there is give and take. I want to live a bold life for God, with less, and less, and less things until I can fit all of my belongings, give or take, into a suitcase. Having a great number of things is a burden, but choosing to not have a great number of things is also a burden. I have to constantly be on guard, remind my head that my heart does not need that "life changing" thing. That possessions do not improve my life, that relationships do. And that I can't take things to heaven when I go. One item at a time, I will eventually get there. My heart will get a little closer to where God is leading me.