To Live is Christ

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Within the past few years I've noticed this quote getting a lot of use in my circle of friends. The problem is, I think the guys have started to catch on. "Hey, I think you're beautiful." which really means: "Sure, you're religious and I'm not, and I go out to bars and you don't, but I think you're beautiful so maybe we could give it a shot?" Story of my life. Please find a new pickup line. This one's broken. Better luck next time...

It has been a rough week, and I haven't been able to run either, so I'll admit it: I'm a little bit touchy. To make matters worse, we've been planning a homeless experience for the junior and senior high schoolers. They all seemed excited at first, but now I'm not exactly sure how many are attending. Okay, okay - I know, they're teenagers... but still! Even my two brothers aren't joining me. We were originally planning to spend the night outside. My mom was not a fan. It's going to be too cold anyway, so we're staying out until midnight and then sleeping in the church. They still aren't coming. I think they just aren't prepared to disconnect from all forms of technology for that long... but that's just my take on the situation.

I think the most disappointing aspect for me is just the attitudes that have come to light through planning this experience. We've done it before - in November! - so it's not a new thing, though it has been a few years (7?) And our pastor is no longer here. I think if there are things going on that individuals do not agree with, they should examine the issue. First to see why they don't agree with it, and second to determine if their opinion is correct or misguided. I understand my mom's concern over being outside all night - but I still don't agree with it. We don't live in the tundra, one night in the cold won't kill us. And, even if we were still sleeping outside, we're allowed to bring sleeping bags! There is no "best" time to be homeless. In the winter, people worry about being out in the cold. If we had done this in the summer, people would be worried about hydration. (We aren't taking food or water with us either.) To me the whole point is experiencing someone else's pain. If I were actually homeless, I wouldn't be able to pick and choose my housing status based on weather patterns... Like I said, I think my brother's are just piggy-backing on my mom's concerns to ensure a night with the usual comforts. TV, xbox, computer, internet, cellphone... they're connected to their electronics. [Maybe I was adopted afterall...] Jesus didn't ask the disciples to spend one night outside. He asked them to leave the comforts of home permanently.

I remember growing up and going to summer camp. I went to a Christian camp. I remember one counselor commenting that everyone, except for Christ, in our lives would hurt us - even our "soul mates" (if that's what you call them). I thought that was the dumbest thing ever. If that was true why would people bother getting married? I've never considered myself to really have the stereotypical Christian upbringing (though who knows, maybe it's more stereotypical than I think). As I've grown I've encountered numerous hurts and disappointments. I feel like certain incidents, in regards to my parents, this fall have cemented my unrest with my parents. To the point that a) I don't want them to think they have any input in my choosing whom I want to marry and b) at this point, I don't really care if they attend or not. I don't even know if I want to have a formal ceremony/reception! (Though I would deal with it, if the guy wanted one.) I know that sounds harsh, but when I was 18 my older brother got married and my father did not attend. Any chance of the "fairytale wedding" spiel ended there. If I find someone who is a supportive, caring guy and a Christian that makes decisions as a reaction to Christianity, not other people, that is more than enough for me.

"As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world's interest in me has also died." -Galatians 6:14

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." -Philippians 3:8

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." -Philippians 1:21