The Meaning of True Love

I've spent the last two weekends with my boyfriend. We went camping with his friends over the fourth, then had a day away to ourselves this past weekend. I was talking to him last night. He's too observant, because I'm trying to be reserved, minimize my feelings and take things slow. He teases me because he says I can't hide my feelings when I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I try desperately to ignore my feelings. To hide them.

Because I've been in uncomfortable relationships when guys couldn't read my emotions.
Or worse, didn't even bother to try.

Because I didn't want to be a burden. Their emotional unavailability made me feel like I was a burden to them. So I ignored them and shut up.

Admitting my emotions and being emotionally vulnerable scares me. Because I've been let down in the past. Because I've been made to feel like a burden. But through God's grace, I've met a godly man who has a heart for Africa, patience, and is amazingly good at reading my body-language.

It's scary, but I guess I have to face those fears. I'm happy to do it with the man who just might be God's best for me, who loves me as a reflection of Christ's love for the church. Who cares for me tenderly through tenderhearted affection and also edifying rebuke. That just might be true love.

"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

- 2 Timothy 1:7 [ESV]