WHAT???!!!
My feelings exactly. Less than two weeks after being told I have an expiration date (not in those exact words), I'm told that I will be given full time for the remainder of my tenure at work. And benefits.
I just wrote my updated schedule on my calendar. I think I might die. The problem is this: I work what a normal person works in five days - but I work it in four, plus a Saturday. I'm exhausted already.
Downside: Well, there are really several reasons that this might end badly...
Upside: Nothing can whip my butt into shape quite like the impending demise my free time/social life. I cleaned my work desk. I sorted two shoe boxes full of financial documents that, quite frankly, I have been avoiding for a very, very long time. I cleaned out my dresser, adding a few items to my "no longer needed" pile. Even for being an organization freak as of late, my room looks especially organized right now.
All in all, today was a pretty good day. Work was good. I spent lots of quality time with my cats. Watched a few episodes of Laguna Beach: Season 2. Don't judge me; some guilty pleasures are good for the soul. Now Lucius is pestering me because I'm not paying enough attention to him. Men... Unfortunately for me, he's too cute to be replaced. Guess I'll just have to distract him with catnip instead. [He is now cleverly sitting onto of my mouse and mouse pad, even while my hand is on the mouse. I guess some guys know how to get what they want.]
I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately. There are a million things I could say, but I want to try to be gracious and kind. I will say that all I can do is follow my heart and what will make me happy. Intense, acute pain is better than lasting pain. As much as I may feel displeased by the choices that others have made, I have to trust that they are doing what will make them happy. Even when their logic is ill-reasoned. Even when I work through what they are saying to gather what they really mean - and they might not even realize it comes across so harsh and shallow.
"It's a good idea not to live your life just to please others. You don't please yourself and you end up not pleasing anyone else. But if you please yourself, maybe you'll please someone else." -Groucho Marx
I want to be happy. I want to please myself, and maybe one day someone else. Preferably someone who "gets" me fully. Back to happiness. I've been thinking about a) people whom I admire and b) periods in my life that I most closely relate with happiness. I've been struggling with the TV debate. To watch or not to watch (that is the question). Upon further reflection, I think I've had it backwards. I think I need to spend less time on the computer, while essentially maintaining my current television viewing pattern. My reasoning is that I'm much better at multitasking while watching television, I'm much more active while watching television, my periods associated with happiness were not spent logging long hours on the internet, and lastly the people I admire do not waste a lot of time on the internet. They do not waste a lot of time watching television either, but this point is moot because in my case television serves as a background for productivity. This realization is also convenient considering that I just ordered two seasons of two of my favorite shows on DVD. But regardless I stand by my perception and believe that, at least in my case, it rings true.
I'm not exactly sure what the future holds, but here's to 2012 and positive life changes!!!
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