New Years Eve!!!

I will hopefully have some free time tomorrow to write a proper update on my life. But this will have to suffice for now...

Work has been crazy. This weekend was hectic, but it ended on such a high note! The past week I have been sneaking in some time to do a quick, end of year purge. I started with my closet, where most of my conquests came from, but there were a few other items, too. I was up late last night, later than I should have stayed up, but at the end of the night I had four boxes ready to whisk off to Goodwill before ringing in the new year. Out with the old, in with the new. Of course, I streamlined and reorganized everything else that made the cut. I really feel like I'm starting 2013 with a clean slate. I can spend tonight celebrating with some of the people I love the most, and tomorrow I can finally relax for a few hours. Happy New Years Eve!!! 

  
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come." -2 Corinthians 5:17

Television

The twenty second thing I am thankful for is the luxury of coming home and watching television. Because let me tell you, this 'to-do list Monday' is not happening. I slept somewhat unsoundly last night, and I had a very vivid dream about Metoprolol. ("You know you've been in the Pharmacy business too long when...") Long story short, the longer I was at work, the crappier I began to feel. And now that I'm home, well, I'm putting on my pajamas, climbing into bed, and not moving. 'Love It Or List It is' on HGTV, so I can kill a few hours watching that, which I was introduced to by my boyfriend's friends, Mike and Lauren.

So in a nutshell: PJs, TV, bed, hot tea, water, sierra mist, and keebler club crackers here I come!

Veterans

The twenty first thing I am thankful for are the Veterans and those who are currently serving! And for a productive, yet relaxing weekend.

Just Breathe

Tomorrow I am having a luncheon at my Church to raise support for my missionary trip to South Africa. I had a productive morning. I cut some fabric for a few projects I'm working on, and then I baked a bunch of goodies for tomorrow. My mom, brother, and I went to the Church to prepare a few other things. I was ready to crash by the time we got back home. After eating dinner with my family, I began to really feel the heat. I couldn't focus on my favorite television show, or on my Bible reading. There is something so unnerving about relinquishing control and allowing others to impact your life. It's one thing to be proactive and rely on yourself all the time. That can be a good thing, and certainly takes qualities and habits that can be beneficial in many areas of life. But we also need to be vulnerable. To be reminded that we are not, that we can not, be truly self-sufficient. If I didn't have Jesus in my life, I would definitely be a lot worse off than I am now. I need His guidance, His grace. It is still incredibly humbling to openly invite others to take an active role in your faith journey. To be my partners on this journey, whether it is actively, financially, emotionally, or just in prayer. But I am not bold, and I don't thrive in the limelight, so I was really stressing out.

So I caved. Because I could not focus on anything else, I talked to my best friend. The wheels in my head were going 100 miles per minute, and I jokingly referenced putting up my Christmas tree. I do love Christmas, and I did get out all of my Christmas music, but I wasn't actually planning on putting up my tree this early. But, I was so stressed out, and my best friend said I should put my tree up. I was shocked because she does not like to think about Christmas until after Thanksgiving. But she is my best friend, and she knows me, and she knew it would take my mind off of tomorrow and help me calm down. So here I sit, next to an (unlit) Christmas tree. And my animatronic mouse that sings 'Jingle Bell Rock.'  I must admit, it worked. Now I just have to get some rest before tomorrow. Yikes...

So the twentieth thing I am thankful for is(are) my best friend(s)! They are always there for me when I need someone to listen.

Health

The nineteenth thing I am thankful for is my health. Especially now as it appears that everyone slowly is coming down with something. Luckily I, as have my coworkers, have avoided getting sick so far. (*knock on wood*)



Also, I have ordered 5 new Christmas albums. Yes, I'm super excited about them and I will import them to iTunes ASAP. No, I do not have any shame. I might put up my Christmas tree next week, we'll see how (im)patient I am this year...

Laughter!

The eighteenth thing I am thankful for is the chance to laugh! (at myself!) I fell/flew up the stairs at work today, literally. I started laughing as soon as I landed, and continued for the following hour. The best part was you can see it on our surveillance system! I watched it about three times and it was still hilarious. (if you missed it, you can see it tomorrow!) But we need to petition for better camera placement to record these events for bloopers at staff parties, ha!

Sitcoms

The seventeenth thing I am thankful for are sitcoms. Or anything other than political coverage. I'll catch up tomorrow, when the dust has begun to settle...

Election

The sixteenth thing I am thankful for is the right to vote! Hitting the polls before work!

^"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!"
-Phillippians 2:3-8[NIV]

Politics

The fifteenth thing I am thankful for is the fact that the political commercials will be over soon!

BYG crew

The fourteenth thing I'm thankful for is my BYG crew: Glenn, Mike, Jeremy, John, Matthew, Makayla, Megan and Timmy. Even though he wouldn't let me take his picture.

DST

The thirteenth thing I'm thankful for is DST!!! yay extra sleep!!! (need I say more?)

Lunch Dates

  Whoops, I did it again... Here are both Friday's and Saturday's posts:

The eleventh thing I am thankful for are quiet, productive evenings - aka, the calm before the storm.

The twelfth thing I am thankful for are lunch dates with my nephews!!!

Friends

The tenth thing I am thankful for are my friends who are always there for me!

Baked Goods

The ninth thing I am thankful for is fresh baked goods! (Which I eat in copious amounts during emotional trials and/or a very stressful day)

Sleep

The eight thing I am thankful for is a good nights sleep!

Warmth

The seventh thing I am (especially) thankful for is having a roof over a warm bed with very cozy blankets!

Sandy may be pouring rain on the world outside my door, but inside, I can almost pretend it's just another rainstorm...

Weekend Edition

The fifth thing I'm thankful for is date night! [I meant to post this when I got home from date night, but I forgot. whoops!] The best part of date night is having a valid excuse to ignore my computer, my email, and my cellphone and not be accused of ignoring people. I ignore my cellphone all the time, but it's nice to have an acceptable reason.

The sixth thing I'm thankful for are Sunday afternoons! I know this isn't entirely kosher. I know that I should be keeping the Sabbath Holy, resting, praying, all that jazz, but sometimes I relish the opportunity to work on a project. In this case, the projects related to Sunday School and Church. I'm not sure that makes it more acceptable, but regardless, I feel good about today.

In Perspective

The fourth thing I'm thankful are days that put things in perspective!

Indian Summers

The third thing I'm thankful for is this weather: thank you Indian summer!!!

Problems

whoops, forgot to post this yesterday...

The second thing I'm thankful for are my problems! I'm thankful that my biggest problems include misplacing my keys, or my cellphone. Things could be much worse!

Africa

Long time no post, eh? Life has, as always, been very busy and hectic. But hectic in the most delightful way!

Including today, there are 30 days until Thanksgiving: cue the "in everything give thanks" 2012 Thanksgiving Edition!

The first thing I'm thankful for is that after four years, 8 injectable vaccines, and countless prayers, I'm going to South Africa!!! 

'"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."' - Jeremiah 29:11 [NIV]

It's been a very long journey. I'm nervous and anxious, but also extremely excited for what this adventure will bring. If you'd like to follow my journey here.

My Darkness

“The difference between my darkness and your darkness is that I can look at my own badness in the face and accept its existence while you are busy covering your mirror with a white linen sheet. The difference between my sins and your sins is that when I sin I know I'm sinning while you have actually fallen prey to your own fabricated illusions. I am a siren, a mermaid; I know that I am beautiful while basking on the ocean's waves and I know that I can eat flesh and bones at the bottom of the sea. You are a white witch, a wizard; your spells are manipulations and your cauldron from hell yet you wrap yourself in white and wear a silver wig.”
― C. JoyBell C.


Today was a tough day when I was reminded of difficult memories of difficult situations. Yet God put the right people in my life, who could say the right words, to make my heart whole again.

I am imperfect. I make mistakes. I fall short of expectations. I hurt feelings. But I know I am imperfect. Knowledge of shortcomings is the first step to being better in the future.

I see those people in my life who never admit any wrongdoings. It seems like a tainted, disappointing life. I hope that I always have an open heart willing to admit my shortcomings, while fully accepting God's grace and mercy.

I am imperfect. I am a constant disaster. But I have an open heart, and have been blessed with people who love me despite of my imperfections. People who comment on my honesty and kindness. Today a friend used the words 'selfless' and 'noble' to describe me! Truth: I'm not. But I was explaining my perspective, and openly citing the Bible to support that perspective, while asking for advice. Any selfless and noble opinions I have are most certainly a gift I received when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, because my human heart is certainly not that kind.

God's Timing...

People aren't perfect. Expectations are difficult. Hurt cuts both ways.

My birthday was looking a little reminiscent of last year for a minute.
That is to say, pathetic, dejected, and generally not happy.
Then I checked my email.

By the grace of God, I did get something that I really wanted for my birthday.
Because God thinks His ironic timing is funny, and therefore, makes Him a comedian.
Okay, maybe it does... Nevertheless...
Stay tuned!

A Time for Everything - Ecclesiastes 3 [NIV]

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens: 

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build, 

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance, 

    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 

    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away, 

    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak, 

    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

Whatever is has already been,
    and what will be has been before;
    and God will call the past to account.

And I saw something else under the sun:

In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
    in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

I said to myself,

“God will bring into judgment
    both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
    a time to judge every deed.”

I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”

So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?

expectations

how much has changed in one year...

how much remains the same after seven years...

go right

Breathe

 I am a cautious dweller: a celebrator of things that have come to be, at the same time relishing the present and holding off on the future until absolutely necessary.

A few weeks ago I attended a wedding with my boyfriend. The initial meeting of present and future was emotionally caustic. A sidenote: since 11th grade I have had a bizarre fear of being sung to in public. I'm not kidding. Naturally, my boyfriend and his friends seem to have a tradition where they torture sing Aladdin's 'A Whole New World' to the bride at the wedding reception... I haven't witnessed it, but I have seen pictures. I would die. I have had nightmares. I have formed a contingency plan.

I was admiring a decorative lantern at work. I wanted to buy it to put ornaments in to use as a Christmas decoration, but wasn't sure where I would put it. My coworker, who did not know about my boyfriend, simply said "Buy it. You could meet a guy and be married by Christmas!" She was serious. Last Saturday she went on to tell me, upon telling her that I don't want a formal, fancy-schmancy wedding ceremony: "all you have to do is find the groom, I can plan everything else!"

The same coworker found out that I have a boyfriend on Wednesday. Her first question was what kind of stoneware I like best. I somehow survived my work shift - barely, only to run home and have a meltdown. My boyfriend didn't know what to say to make me feel better. I ended up bawling my eyes out for 30 minutes before enlisting my dear friend Brandon for moral support. We don't get to talk very often, but thank goodness he is always there for me when I need him!

I want to enjoy the present, not rush the future - and not be hasty. And I'd prefer to do it without so much interference from people that could be my very own paparazzi. I've been in a serious relationship where marriage seemed to be on the horizon. I know that sometimes love, or something we believe to be love, is a zero sum game. Anytime someone tries to raise the stakes, and cheapen what should make me so happy, I lack grace and compassion to an unfortunate degree.

At work, I closed Thursday and Friday. Thursday was interesting: my day began with getting flowers, from my kind boyfriend, delivered at work, and ended with having a shoplifter escorted by police out of the building.

Saturday I spent at Kennywood with my family, and nephews. It was delightful and exhausting. My poor nephew, Christian, is too little to ride some of the rides - even with a grown up.

Sleep deprived, I somehow made it through Sunday School and Church on Sunday. My grandmother has adopted a baby pug. I crashed Sunday afternoon.

Monday I had a full day of work, a Church meeting, and a surprise late-night date night with my boyfriend for ice cream.

Today I finally stopped. After talking to my boyfriend earlier today, I retreated into my own world. Focused on my to do list and old animated Disney movies, I worked. I focused, I processed, and I relaxed. My brain just works better when I am truly living purposely. I read one of my favorite bloggers, and realized she announced a pregnancy weeks ago - I have been too distracted to even notice!

Things I have learned this summer:
1. I do not mind being the center of attention - if it is on my terms. My grandmother recently commented on the fact that when I was a little girl, if you looked at me the wrong way I would cry. I guess part of my has always been hypersensitive. While I don't care about what people think of me, any situation that makes me aware that people are paying attention to me makes me anxious. Case in point: I honestly had a nightmare about the entire wedding reception serenade scenario. I wouldn't choose to have a big reception with lots of guests. I wouldn't chose to have people sing to me. I would rather resort to self-harm, or run away. Or die [not to be dramatic...] I wouldn't chose to be the center of attention simply for the sake of being the center of attention. But, in college I was a tour guide for years. I was the center of attention for all of those students and their families - but it wasn't really about me. Maybe I've forgotten how to trust people. Though I might wish/hope/pray to die if they did sing to me at my wedding reception, I wouldn't. As long as relaxed enough to not vomit or pass out... I wouldn't actually be harmed. Maybe I just need to be reminded the world isn't always out to get me.
2. Being right isn't the most important thing. Stereotypical epiphany: I've found myself, at work and at home, being in situations that I could clarify or argue, and telling myself that it's not important. Sometimes the argument of right vs wrong is moot point. I don't always have to spell out every detail of my thought process in every situation. God knows my heart. While it might be beneficial for someone to know, sometimes it just doesn't make a difference and the resolution of the situation is more important than the other party knowing your entire side of the story. Maybe that's what happens when we grow up. Maybe that's what being happy does to a person.
3. I should dust off my old hobbies. a) My boyfriend is a mechanical engineer. He loves machines and the technology that makes them tick. I hate technology and machines are like a foreign language to me. You might as well be speaking Mandarin to me. My family was hanging out this weekend; he was having a guy's weekend with his friends. I jokingly (kind of) said that I would adjust to the fact that he likes machines more than me. After the fact he starts to outline more excursions about trains. I do not and probably will not like/understand trains as much as my boyfriend. I would happily go along [sometimes. I'm not completely sure how I'd feel about a 3-day weekend devoted to train chasing...] But I also know that most of my friends have significant others. That's not the case with his friends, and sometimes his friends would prefer me to make myself scarce. b) my boyfriend can get excited about his hobbies. I need to re-energize myself by spending time doing things I enjoy. Namely scrapbooking, playing the French horn, and quilting/sewing: if it makes me sound more like a 60-something instead of a 20-something, it's probably something I enjoy.
4. My Church should be my new hobby. When I was in high school and the first few years of college, a decent portion of my life was centered around activities going on in my Church. That slowly changed. My Church is without a full-time pastor, and seems to be in a state of constant turmoil. Yet, somehow, I feel glimmers of hope. I'd like to get more involved. This might seem a bit crazy, since I'm already a high school Sunday school teacher, on the Christian Education Committee and a Deacon... I just feel like committing myself more will energize me more. I think I'd like to start going to Church for Youth Group. I'm not sure in what capacity yet. I'd either help with youth group (duh) or use the time to see what work needs done for the Sunday school classes. One of the Church members is (from the outside looking in) frazzled, faced with a hectic lifestyle and currently battling health problems, yet she expressed the desire to be part of a Bible study. I'm looking into things that might be appropriate avenues for us to grow in fellowship.

Life is somehow less stressful now. I had a chance to talk to my best friend last week, and discuss my relationship with my boyfriend - who is her cousin, surprise! All responses have been minor. No one has made a 'to-do' or big fuss (thank goodness!), so that is very relaxing and gratifying. My boyfriend, who is sweet and patient, even when I have meltdowns caused by emotions he does not understand, and somehow is always there (even when he doesn't know what to do with me) AND somehow hasn't been scared off by this - yet. :-P Now I can celebrate my birthday, and kick off fall - my favorite season - off with a bang AND my boyfriend! ;-)

Verses that have helped me today:

''For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' -Jeremiah 29:11 [NIV]

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:2 [NIV]

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." -Philippians 4:6 [NIV]

God's timing is perfect. He is sovereign, and so kind!

First Comes Love...

"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." -1 John 4:12

so it's the SEASON FINALE of the Bachelorette!!! but in the meantime...

It was a big weekend for me too! So my friend is driving me crazy with her wedding planning. If I have a wedding, it is going to be as simple as possible. However, this is really moot point because anytime I think about having a wedding (the ceremony, the details, the attention...) I just have a mental moment. Nevertheless, my boyfriend's friend from college got married Friday. I was in a horrible mental state, but I had promised to go, so go I did - despite my current negative emotions surrounding weddings. I was a little apprehensive knowing that I'd be meeting (almost) all of my boyfriend's college friends - at once! I think I met somewhere around 16 people he went to college with. Pressure! But everyone was so amazing and gracious and fun - and thrilled that my boyfriend and I are dating! Unfortunately, we had to leave the wedding early so I could get back because I had work Saturday morning. I wish I could have stayed longer and spent more time with everyone!

Work dragged a bit Saturday. There was relief after meeting everyone at the wedding, and excitement because I was going to meet my good friend Adrienne for the Pirates game that evening. But first I had to navigate Pittsburgh and find her church. That part was easy. The game was fun. Buccos won! But it was fireworks night and no one told me... I just don't get into fireworks. The night was a good time nonetheless. That is, until it was time to go home. Adrienne and I decided it would be better for me to crash at her place than driving the whole way home with game traffic. Good in theory... But game traffic was just as bad there, and I had no idea where I was going! I somehow managed to follow Adrienne and get back to her apartment - despite not being able to see her the whole time, and almost getting into a bad accident! I was so keyed up, so I could not go to sleep. We ended up staying up and talking for a few hours, and of course facebook stalking my boyfriend's friends so she could see them all (lol!)

When I left this morning, again I had no idea where I was going. I somehow managed to get back to the North Side, where I have some sense of direction,, and eventually made it to 28. I took a detour to meet my boyfriend and one of his college roommates for breakfast. It was great to get to spend more time with his friend who lives in Washington DC and doesn't come into town very often, and it was nice to take a breather after all of the hectic driving around Pittsburgh! Pretty soon he had to leave, so my boyfriend and I got to spend some time alone - talking about everyone I met, the wedding and things that happened, in addition to just unwinding in general.

Reflecting on the weekend: I really don't like the idea of weddings. I do not want to spend an excess amount of money on one day. I don't really want to have that much attention on me to be honest. I would much rather have a small reception, maybe even elopement, and then have a party with family and a party with friends to spend more intimate time celebrating with the people who are most important to us. With that said, Matt and Mandy definitely were not afraid of the attention on their wedding day. Without even knowing either of them, you can tell that they really strive to live lives that bring glory to God. It seems that 90% of the weddings I've been to use 1 Corinthians 13, aka "the love chapter" but I was especially encouraged because that was not one of the scriptures referenced for their wedding. Instead they chose passsages from Colossians and Ephesians:


"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

-Colossians 3:12-19 [NIV]

^"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." -Ephesians 5:22-33 [NIV]

I love how the passages they chose complement each other! I love how they are an instruction for a genuine loving relationship that glorifies God - because without God, there is no love. Everyone makes different choices in life and goes down different paths. I have watched friends make decisions that I would hopefully not make. I listen to friends who do not change their behavior but complain about their partner's behavior over and over again. It was so encouraging to hear the Reverend's perspective on love and marriage according to God and not the world. I don't know if I'm jaded or too much of a realist, but I don't think I have any outlandish expectations of romance. I see marriage mostly, as a choice: a commitment to stand by that person regardless of the situation. Gestures that convey your commitment and affection to your partner are meaningful and important. Those gestures can certainly create romance, but romance without that commitment means nothing. I could expand on this further, but that will be another post. ;-)

Whatever your hand finds to do...

"And I won't be ashamed,
Of the things we once made,
And I won't be coming back
'Round here no more."

Hi blog world! Let me tell you, it has been a busy few weeks!!!

I have (mostly) made a full recovery from the plague.
In the war on clutter: I got rid of possessions that I love. Previously I was getting rid of things I don't love or don't use. This is the harder, but more rewarding step. I love purging so much, that I purged my hair! It's so short I can't even put it in a ponytail!
But, I'm going to put the great purge on hold. I'm going to a) focus on finalizing plans for Africa [prayers please!] and b) taking a mental break. I want to resolve unanswered Africa questions. I want to watch the movies that I have decided are keepers - to determine that they actually are keepers. I want to read books. I want to run on the trail. I want to be a vegetable.

My typical days include going to work, going home and getting on the internet, going to bed and doing it again the next day. I love the internet, but sometimes a girl just needs a break. Yesterday was such a day. It was a very crazy, stressful day at work. I indulged in some convenience food. I took care of sorting some boxes and cleaning up in general. I put away a lot of laundry. I put away my other linens. And if it wasn't something that needed to be dealt with asap, I put it in my closet and closed the door. I'm serious about this purging break. Even if it's a short week or two, I am committed. I think it will help the 'use it or lose it' argument. ie: I have puzzles, but I've never put them together. And other nonsensical things I'm holding onto for no real reason. But the immediate focus will hopefully be Christian living. And I mean actually living, not just talking about what I'd like to do. In theory, even forcing myself to rewatch the Bachelorette episodes so far, and finally giving you my feelings, as promised!

If you read my last entry, you know I'm mourning the loss of my childhood. Two weeks later, I can say that it actually feels kind of awesome. 95% of the things I get rid of I don't miss at all. In fact it made me feel so awesome, I encouraged my boyfriend to do the same. Initially, this didn't go so well. I became that girlfriend; the one who wants to hijack her boyfriends life. In all honesty, I'd just prefer that his stuff didn't hijack his life. Insert boyfriend's friend and you have bad news. Why people insist on holding onto stuff that they will realistically never use, I have no idea. Needless to say, I avoided the friend for a few days, kept my opinions to myself and my boyfriend has since gotten rid of 57 VHS tapes... that's all she wrote! Thankfully my brother is a young man after my own heart! Sunday he asked me to help him, and our youngest brother, clean out their room. True, this was mostly because he is totally ready to get rid of everything and my youngest brother is just not motivated to do so. So while he did have selfish motivation, it was productive. We got rid of a ton of clothes. I was actually driving around with a huge box of their clothes in my car. I was initially planning on taking it to Goodwill. Instead, I ran into my friend Rudy who spearheads a huge bash for local underprivileged children every year. I wanted to talk to him because I have some supplies I finally cleaned out of my desk. The advertised list is kindof minimal, but after talking to Rudy I realized I could donate a lot more to these kids - including my brothers clothes! They advertised the donation of children's clothes: since my brothers are 16 and 18 I don't really consider them 'children', but Rudy reminded me of the obesity problem we have. So now I know where their clothes will be going!

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom." -Ecclesiastes 9:10[NIV]

Time to go continue being productive!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

It's been one year since I revamped my blog! You know what they say: "Time flies when you're having fun!"

This week one of my brothers graduated from high school.
My other brother infected our entire family with the plague.
I've been sick since Tuesday. Very, very sad. So far symptoms have migrated from my head downward. Which means I officially sound weird, and my throat is irritated 99% of the time I'm awake. Lovely. My friend and her husband were sick for two entire weeks. I'm really hoping that my family has caught a different plague!

In my misery, I am unabashedly guzzling Sierra Mist. #1 because I'm a baby when I'm sick. I have no shame; I'll admit it! I don't drink pop/soda any other time, but when I'm sick it (the bubbly, carbonated goodness of Sierra Mist) is the only thing that makes life seem worth living. And #2 because I generally have absolutely no appetite when I'm sick. Sugary beverages aren't ideal, but it keeps the kcal count up!

After several weeks of working overtime and having jam-packed weekends, I feel like I'm winning: I had a day off (albeit it was the beginning of the plague, so arguably time underutilized) and I have a weekend all to myself. My nephews are otherwise occupied; my boyfriend is off celebrating guys weekend. This gives me an excuse to not set foot outside my house, save for work for 6 hrs on Saturday. (Sunday - we will see, right now I feel like if I went to Church I'd just end up coughing and blowing my nose the entire time. Very attractive, and very conducive to worship, obviously. I might have to keep the Sabbath holy from the confines of my bedroom.) Anyway, the light at the end of this miserable tunnel is a) Sierra Mist and b) free time to do whatever I want!

Since I can't breathe to begin with, I figured I might as well clean. Dusting (because I can't breathe anyway), sorting through some books, and old stuff I haven't used in years. I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but some point this week, between the Sierra Mist and NyQuil, I mourned the loss of my childhood. I am coming to terms with the fact that I'm single so I am not married and I don't have kids. In short, I go to work and then come home and take care of myself. In short, I have no large responsibilities. I am coming to terms with the fact that all of the "hobbies" and necessary supplies lying stagnant around my room aren't actually hobbies. If I don't make time for them now, there is no way I will make time for them when I'm married, let alone when if I'm raising a family. This brings me to one of my favorite men: Thomas Jefferson, or TJ as I like to call him, because I'm a nerd like that. TJ had some good advice to live by. Moses brought us the 10 Commandments; TJ brought us the 10 Rules of Conduct. Naturally, being the early American History nerd that I am, I have TJ's 10 Rules of Conduct in my room. Imprinted on a mug. (Don't judge me.) I came across the mug as I was dusting and rearranging the bookshelf. Debating the likelihood that I will make myself sit still long enough to read various books and debating if I should just get ready for bed, under the assumption that I will one day beat the plague. Then I saw it. Rule of Conduct #1: "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today." It worked. I spent 2 more hours cleaning. Well played, TJ.

Now, naturally, there are piles of things to be sorted and boxed. Craft supplies I will never use; school supplies that can be donated to a local mission for underprivileged children. Items that don't enrich my life or hold the meaning they once did; items that I can't picture in "my" (future) house. I've been reading articles about purging clutter from your life; letting go of who you thought you were (and the items that were part of that picture) and embracing who you are (and keeping only the items that enrich that life.) Hopefully the momentum continues. I still have a few problem spots to tackle. And 9 more Rules of Conduct to work through. ;-)

Expectations

Never fear, blog world! I have not forgotten about my inaugural Bachelorette blog. I have just been distracted.

Work has been going well. I have found a new ally in our intern, Von. Our days involve me explaining how to do tasks and why they are done that way, and answering his questions, and then talking about Big Bang Theory. Von is awesome.

Have you ever watched an infant that refuses to crawl, but keeps trying to run? They can pretend they have some sense of equilibrium for brief periods of time. Maybe they can even make you believe that they are in control of their balance. That they can really run. Until they try to move and everything comes crashing down.

Sometimes grownups are like that too.

They can appear to have it all together. They can put on a great show. But if you don't crawl first, you can't run. If you try to run, everything you've worked for will come crashing down in an instant. It's incredibly frustrating to watch. But, it's because we allow ourselves to believe the charade. Our expectations are that it will be true. When those expectations fall short, it can seem heartbreaking. This explains how I'm feeling.

Mother's Day Mayhem

I feel like I have been beaten up.

On Friday, Cory asked me how many hours I had logged this week. We spent much more time together than we normally do this week, since Steph and Terri are both off, and he guessed that I'd be getting close to overtime. Close yes, but not in the danger zone. I was saved by the extended lunch break I took on Monday. [A happy coincidence: we had over scheduled front staff, and I felt miserable with a nagging headache. I gladly agreed to leave with the hope of a break and a hot meal providing some relief before coming back for the evening with the back staff.]

I was also watching Terri's dog while she was recovering from surgery. A dog that is a) a puppy b) hyperactive, to say the least! and c) insists on waking up at 5am. To say that I was overworked and sleep deprived this week is an understatement. Then I realized that I only have one day off the next three weeks: Memorial Day (+ Sundays, because we are closed.) No days off + a lot of laundry that still needs put away + more laundry that still needs washed + dishes + ... The list goes on.

Then there is that whole Amendment 1 thing. You may have heard of it, but in case you've been living under a rock, you can read about it here. I think the homosexual debate is quite complicated and I don't feel inclined to delve into my personal feelings on that right now. After the law was passed, friends on both sides of the debate let the comments fly. One friend in particular called me quite upset, on the verge of tears, about how the idea of marriage between homosexuals is so wrong. It was a Matthew 7 moment:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." -Matthew 7:3-5

The Bible plainly states that God intended for man and woman to be together and that homosexuality is at odds with God's plan for us. Yet, there are things this friend is doing in their life that are also contrary to what is said in the Bible. I don't feel that I am currently in the place to pass judgment or offer council. I don't think I can offer words to inspire change, and am afraid of offering words that merely cause defense and hurt. So I wait and trust that things will happen according to God's plan.


And to cap off the week of crazy work, lack of sleep, Saturday was date night. After date night I had grand thoughts of finalizing my Sunday School lesson, maybe folding some laundry and going to bed early. Instead, I got home, was tackled by my nephew Andrew (and later by Christian) who was surprising Mom for Mother's Day. We stayed up until midnight when I finally couldn't take it anymore and went to bed. Overslept, but still found time to sort of get my lesson in order. Then we went to my grandmother's house for lunch, and of course had to see all the cows, roosters, and the billy goat. Then Lucius and I took a nap, because nephews wear. us. out.!!!


I'm still feeling not so great, but I think this crazy week has inspired some good things. Here's a sneak peak to inspire you:

#1. Awe, don't they look cute? Bachelor Brad Womack proposed to Emily Maynard during his second stint as The Bachelor. Well they broke up and now the Emily is back to be The Bachelorette. Everyone knows that Albert Einstein is a pretty smart guy. And everyone knows that he said: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Everyone except for those people who decide to look for love on National Television, ABC style of course. This season get ready. You'll all get to witness what my boyfriend calls "Monday-Morning Quarterbacking" - Bachelor style. The past few seasons seem to be getting progressively worse, but I can't bring myself to stop watching. This season I'm going to make the most of this glutton-for-punishment quality: I'm going to blog about the episodes and breakdown these "love connections." What are they doing right? What are they doing wrong? Should these relationships even be categorized as love, as God intended it?

 

#2. Back to that Matthew 7:3-5 thing: Let's take a look at the common life. aka mine. What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? How am I failing as a Christian? Will a change in habits make a drastic change in my general outlook?

 Stay tuned blog-world!!!

God's Plan

As I'm getting ready to go to a Church meeting, which I am not looking forward to because we have difficult decisions ahead.

This popped up on my facebook newsfeed because my friend subscribes to Life and Love and gets their updates:

And today's Our Daily Bread devotional comes from 1 John:

^"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.  Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God  and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him.  And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us." -1 John 3:16-23

If that isn't encouragement for days like today, I don't know what is! If nothing else, hopefully this will help keep me in the appropriate mindset. The road ahead will be difficult, but I shouldn't worry because it's all part of God's plan. All I can do is [try to] keep His commandments and glorify Him!

Unexpected

“Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day” -Ann Landers



6 months to the day. for serious.
you have got to be kidding.

now, before I get carried away with irrational emotion, [okay, maybe after I initially experienced some intense emotions] I decided to find a list of qualities that people describe in "good" men. Google it, there are lots of them. Or just go here to expand upon this immediate study:

1. He treats you well

2. He is a man of his word

3. He loves you inside and out

4. He has a bright future

5. He is able to guide and protect you

6. He is confident in himself

7. He is an independent man

8. He is appreciative of you

9. He speaks and acts honestly

10. He has good morality

in the event that you read this, and in case you were wondering,
you're 3 for 10.

Eeyore

On Sunday our interim minister gave a sermon about the "Eeyore"s in the church. He's been serving as an interim, or supply, minister for 30+ years. Needless to say, he's run into a few Eeyores over the years. His perspective of an "Eeyore" is a person that is an eternal pessimist. He also referred to them as a "stale air" Christian. The people who will always look at what is going wrong in the church, constantly overlooking what is going right. Yes, it is important to be aware of what is going wrong in the church so we can do our best to fix it and grow in Christ. However, we have to remember that our hope is in Christ. We can't focus so much on our shortcomings that we lose our hope. To get back to the point, the minister was trying to convey how ineffective our ministry becomes when we are Eeyore Christians. No one would be attracted to a ministry that is perpetually down and "woe is me" - our message is more potent when we provide the "fresh air": all of the qualities of life that have improved as a result of our walk in Christ.

Needless to say, these last few days I've been in a slump. I'm not sure if I was an Eeyore per say, but I certainly wasn't feeling like myself. Now, there are loads of quotes I could put in now: "Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present" or "There is no time like the present" but my favorite on this topic: "You will never 'find' time for anything. If you want time, you must make it." -Charles Buxton I love that quote. I use it frequently to get myself in gear. Knowing how out of sorts I've felt the last few days, and how much the rest of the work week would increase that disarray, I knew I had to do something drastic. Last night before bed I wrote out a to-do list of all the little things that I needed to accomplish. And I prayed about it, for the energy and the focus to get things done.

I worked on and off, mostly on, for 13 hours. I ignored my cell phone. I didn't turn my computer on until I needed to print out a recipe. I didn't even turn on my TV until I had crossed several items off my list. Even then, it was movies - no commercials and less distraction. (Also, less need to actively watch because I own it on DVD!) I think my boyfriend thought I was dead. (Or that he was in the dog house for unknowingly upsetting me and that I just wasn't talking to him. Either way.)

Thankfully, I had a fantastically productive day! Which, I think is the result of prayer more-so than sheer determination. I moved a few things around with the hope that I would be more diligent (music to transpose, devotional binder, etc) Let's hope that my spirit is renewed and that I will be a more diligent, optimistic, "fresh water" Christian and can have a positive effect on those around me.

"The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied."

-Proverbs 13:4 [ESV]

Those Days

I've had one of those days.

You know the ones.

After spending the last few days with my best friend, who was home on spring break, and her fiance, it occurs to me that summer is still on the fast track. Which means bridesmaids dress shopping. And my workout...well, it's not on track. Which means potentially less fun had while bridesmaids dress shopping.

Also, I have a Deacon's meeting at Church tomorrow. And I have yet to type up the minutes from our last meeting. Awe-some. The last meeting, which I am writing the minutes on, a) was my first Deacon's meeting and b) started before I arrived SO let's hope the other Deacon's are forgiving of my lack of details...

Also, realizing that I have exactly one sheet of printer paper left. It's a good thing the minutes will be short and sweet. And, let's hope, correct.

Adventures In Modern Medicine

So I really want to go to Africa.
I would also really like to be granted access back into the United States when I come back.
This requires a lot of medication and vaccines.

I got three vaccinations today. at once.

My awesome Pharm D, Cory, said I was crazy. He did a double take when I told him I wanted three at once.

"I'd be scared to get three at once."
(pause)
"I've never ever given three vaccines at once before."

But if you've met Cory, you'll know that he is thrilled by the opportunity to use me as his personal guinea pig.
Fact: I allowed Cory to give me the first vaccine for my Africa trip, after not being vaccinated at all for 9 years.
He was great. He did hit my bone, and it was a lot of vaccine with a reputation for being painful, but it was easy!

So once he initially got over his caution, he quickly got excited. He was rushing me to finish my paperwork. He is really great at what he does. He even took time to get me a different chair to sit on, in case I lost my balance after being "stabbed" three times and fell off. He didn't make me go to the vaccination room, he let me sit in the break area. Probably for convenience, and because my weird coworker really wanted to watch me get vaccinated. She was amazed. I didn't flinch. They both told me I was brave. Really? Just because I don't let a little (okay, it's not actually so little...) needle scare me.

Either way, despite Cory making me bleed (he thinks he hit a capillary), I was up and moving within 5 minutes or so. My coworker said I looked pale. Um. I'm pretty sure I always look pale, but thanks for pointing that out. I recovered pretty quickly. Felt great. Ran errands. Went to the grocery store for my mom.

I feel like superwoman!
Now if I could just take my head-on thought process for vaccines and translate it to the rest of my to-do list...

Get It Right

I am a lot of things. I am lively. cheerful. outgoing. introverted. blunt. brash. funny. sarcastic. cute. charismatic. magnetic. bull headed. stubborn. a sucker for love. a hard worker. a worrier. I don't care enough what people think of me. I care too much what other people think of me. I will do everything in my power to get it right. But sometimes I get it all wrong.

Our society is so messed up sometimes. Our priorities. Our trends. Our lack of morals and religion. Our temporal fixations can prevent us from enjoying all of our blessings.

For the most part, I've been dealt an excellent plan. My parents were parents. They keep me grounded. I say "may I" not "can I" along with "please", "thank you" and "excuse me."

Sometimes we all need reminders though. Reminders never hurt.

Some helpful tips for girls and guys


"Congratulations!
Today is your day!
You're off to great places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.'
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go."
-Dr. Seuss,   From Oh, The Places You'll Go!

You matter. You were made with a purpose. Life is not a test. Make it matter. Get it right.

All We Have Is Today

Happy Belated Easter!!!

Saturday night I watched "The Notebook." As always, I've been doing a lot of thinking. It hit me during the 11:00 service on Sunday. I was sitting up front with the other musicians and there it was. The realization that I used to play the French horn every day. I realistically haven't played since Christmas. Cue the scene where Allie realizes she stopped painting. Here are my thoughts, feelings, and inspirations, with a little help from pinterest.com


Thought #1: When you only look at the shadows, molehills can easily be mistaken as mountains.

  

 

Thought #2: Sometimes you have to make yourself look towards the sunshine.

 

Thought #3: You only live once.

 

  

 Thought #4: Make the most of it!

 

Thought #5: Be the happiest version of yourself. 

 

 

Thought #6: Then maybe you will be happy with someone else. 

 

 

I've realized it's not about whether or not I'm shopping. I've cleaned out my closet again. I want to use my next coupons to buy clothes for my nephews, because goodness knows they go through clothes faster than I will! I've remembered that the internet is great, but the benefits are short-lived when they outweigh time spent being more productive. I feel happiest when my attention is focused on the computer or the television, but not both. Life is better in real time. I want to focus on doing what I love, not merely doing (anything.) I want to be artsy and crafty. [French horn, guitar, photography, scrapbooking, sewing and crocheting.] And silly. And endearing and honest. To remember that compromise and balance are the keys to success in almost any circumstance. To not be afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve. 

We are all perishable. We must live accordingly.

A Hard Year

Yesterday was another round of cleaning. I started with my closet a) because I noticed I was really having to cram the clothes into one drawer for it to close properly and b) because tackling the closet is so much easier for me than attacking the box of miscellaneous stuff that I really need to go through. I'm obsessed with having a clean, easily organized room. I want to know where everything is. I want to go into my closet and clearly be able to tell what I have. But I also think I'm subconsciously trying to make room for new [happy] memories after such a hard few months.

2011 was a rough year for me. Changes at work. Guys who weren't the nice guys I wanted to believe they were. And best friends. I'm one of the lucky ones. I have kept in touch with four friends from junior and senior high school. People I met in 7th grade, and that was 13 years ago! Three of them are already married; I was in two of the weddings. Two of them have children. I keep in touch with some of them more frequently than others. That's the thing about best friends: you can overlook the bad and focus on the good. But that changed before Christmas. One friend pushed things beyond the limit. After many conversations, and a few tears, my best friend and I decided that we could not be the positive influence in her life that we desperately wanted to be. It was time to move on and hope God sent someone who could help her understand in a way we couldn't.

I feel mostly okay. There was too much that had transpired. The end of the friendship was not like a bad breakup. I was not faced with the feeling of extreme and sudden loss, just the awareness that there is a hole that has not been filled. Shortly before this debacle, our mutual best friend got engaged. I was worried this would be the kicker for me. I don't miss my friend, or at least not the friend she had become the last few years. All the same I was really worried it would hit me while we were wedding planning for my best friend. Two weekends ago we went wedding dress shopping, ironically at the same boutique the former friend purchased her dress at (I was also part of that trip.) Thankfully, the trip was mostly upbeat. Attention and thoughts stayed focused on Chelsie.

It is agreed it will be the hardest for me, since I was in more frequent contact with this friend than Chelsie. We still lived in the same town and she was the friend who always wanted people around her. I relish alone time, so I must admit at times I perceived this as very demanding behavior. I talk to friends often, though I don't have the in person interaction I did with her. For now, this is okay. After all, I still have to tackle the box of junk that I have been putting off for months and months. I'm looking forward to summer, more wedding planning, and many new memories.

Your Weight Loss Resolution?

 A wake up call to motivate you to lose those extra lbs:


http://dailynightly.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/03/11007637-the-surprising-new-face-of-obesity

Solid Ground

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

I've felt quite disoriented lately. It's my fault for a) slipping on my schedule and allowing myself to be lazy and b) I've been so busy lately, my room is a mess. Nothing terrible, but enough little things that combine to seem like a very big thing.

I had a conversation with a friend last week about another friend who has a definite instant gratification problem. The problem of course comes when they have to wait for anything. Heaven forbid! The situation involved an extreme example, but it highlighted how unattractive the trait it. I think there is a difference between going after what you want fervently and pouting when things don't work out the way you wanted as soon as you wanted. The later is what is being displayed in our friend. It conjures snippets of news media and journals discussing how technology, and instant access to everything, has affected the younger generations. [I would be a part of that generation. Except I'm not into keeping up with the latest trends. No smartphones here! but I digress...]

This concept has really been rattling my brain this week. I even watched an episode of The Waltons, because the concept of life before television is the opposite of instant gratification in my mind. When families would listen to a radio for the latest entertainment. Not to mention it was set in the era of the Great Depression so they were lacking lots of things. Throughout the series we would see various children doing whatever they could to make money when they wanted something, a new softball glove, a new dress, a bus ticket, etc etc. Of course that really got my wheels turning. So...my goal for April is to not shop at all, if possible. This leaves me two options: a) write down what I think I "need" and why. if I still feel that way about the item in May, I will work it into my budget. b) think about what I already have on hand that could be used as a reasonable substitute for the time being. [because most of my impulse purchases are a) food or b) stuff I probably already have at home] So we'll see how it goes. You will too, because I hope to blog about it!

I have an acquaintance who is into social/liberal causes. I must admit this plot does seem reminiscent of things I've seen her talk about. The "Ditch The Disposables" Challenge of 2008 and "30 Days of Nothing" Challenge. [Google either if you are curious to know more.] But I'm not trying to change the world, rather I'd like to reevaluate how I see it. So much of our society is material based. Work dress codes and hygiene requirements. Just because you have the latest fashions and impeccable hygiene doesn't mean someone is the best person ever. And being poor, or homeless, doesn't mean that personal is any less worthy. A quote has been on my heart in the recent weeks. I'm not sure where I read it. It's simply saved as a word document on my computer. It is simple, to the point, and true.

"You will never look into the eyes of someone Christ didn't die for" -Mark Moore

I'm not sure where/how I came across it. I have no idea who Mark Moore is. It's just so true and innately compelling. Which leads me to my next point. A hiatus from shopping isn't a bad start, but I want to get back to reality in general. Away from materialism, and away from the technological community (aka all things "social media") that is going on these days. A few weeks ago I was dog sitting for a slightly older couple in their 50s with no children. Just their beloved golden retriever. They have radios and a pretty sweet television, and one computer. With dial-up internet. They actually call people. From their land line.The write letters and go out to catch up with loved ones. It was an amazingly relaxing weekend and I can't help but envy them. They don't suffer from the media overload, and are so laid back as a result. Last week I watched "He's Just Not That Into You." At one point a character named Mary, played by Drew Barrymore, stated it perfectly: "I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting." Dating aside, I think it's definitely valid to say that becoming more "connected" via technology is actually isolating in the real world.

So there you have it. 1) no shopping. make a list, or make do. 2) less social media. more real relationships. April goals in a nutshell. Side projects: working out and running (as always), and working on my green thumb. I went shopping today. (gah, I know - who goes shopping before they give up shopping?! lame...) I picked up a few things at the mall, and then got down to business. I planted seeds a few weeks ago. Let me ask you this: have you ever planted seeds while owning three cats? because, let me tell you, it's an experience. One cat digs up the dirt, one cat eats the plants before they're even mature. [I guess Luke 8 could be read alternately using cats instead of birds, who knew...) So before my no shopping month begins, I thought I should pick up a) a seed starter. I went with the Jiffy professional greenhouse because it's not expensive, but still comes with the plastic cover to hopefully keep the cats out... and b) new seed (of course!) And because the local chain stores don't do so great at keeping plants, I rescued three plants: a red tulip, and two things that I've seen before but don't know by name, because they looked like they were drying to death.

Also, remember my fretting yesterday? Yet again, no one seemed to notice my mistake. I worry far too much about things that are temporal. I have to work on that.

stress

 

It's been one of those days weeks.

Today I feel like the Princess & the Pea. I'm the princess, and one minor thing that I could have handled differently at work is the pea. Never mind the countless things I handled appropriately. It's just one of those days.

 

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." -Psalm 55:22
I don't know about this, per say. I may try to live righteous. But I still make mistakes. Let opportunities slip by. Does trying to be righteous weigh in my favor enough that I am counted as righteous? Of course the problem is that God is merciful; humans are not so kind.

Of course, the ultimate fix:
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7
[just maybe with a side of hot cocoa. maybe]